Got myself into a situation I cannot get out of. WWYD?(9 Posts)
Went out with friends for a meal just before Xmas. (We are not close friends, just see each other every now and again, mainly do's, and the odd meal out together).
Enjoyed the night, hadn't been out with them for ages so it was good to catch up. Half way through the evening when the wheels were, ahem, oiled a bit, our friend, lets call her Jo, mentioned she would love to go to Xmas shopping in NY later this year. Caught up in the moment, I said I'd love to do that too. Cue much squealing from Jo (she squeals a lot), and an enthusiastic arrangement to get things booked when sober. Our OH's said they were not interested, so it's left just the 2 of us to go, just Jo and I.
Well, in the cold light of day, as you have guessed, I don't want to go. Jo and I are poles apart. Different people totally. I am introvert and would rather go with someone like me IYSWIM, and she is extrovert.
I was hoping she would have forgotten, but she was in touch the day after the meal talking about booking flights while the prices were cheap, and has mentioned it a couple of times since.
The thought of going round NY with Jo squealing at almost anything will send me daft, but if I don't go, and she cannot get somebody else to go with her, it is denying her an experience, and I wouldn't want to take that away from her, especially as she has increased her hours at work and wants to enjoy the fruits of her labour. Can't use the excuse of finances either as they know what we have coming in moneywise.
I had booked annual leave for the period we said we'd go, and am still waiting for confirmation from work. Up to now, I've told her I won't book anything until I get confirmation, (which I would do in any situation regarding holidays anyway), so its on hold, but I know she'll bring it up again soon. WWYD?
Sorry for rambling...
Tell her you can't get time off from work? (Or for several weeks around that time in case she says to go another time). Or just say you'd love to go but you just can't afford it this year.
You really can't go to NY with someone you don't like that much. IT will spoil the experience for her. You could be honest, and say you were tipsy at the time you agreed, but you don't really want to go. Or, you could blame work, and say you can't get the leave. But, seriously - don't go just because you feel she has to have this experience. Jo deserves to be there with someone who wants to go, and if you tell ehr now she has time to find someone else.
Be prepared for the friendship to cool a bit though
I'd lie and say I couldn't get annual leave. Annual leave is too precious to be used up on being with people you'd rather not be with.
Thanks for all your replies.
Sorry, going to have to dripfeed, my fault, just didn't want the post to be too long.
Germgirl - As far as finances are concerned, its not going to be that easy. Dh and Jo's oh worked together doing the same job for years before Jo's OH left, so he knows what dh earns.
Plus Dh is going away for a few days soon with mutual friends. And Jo's oh is going. I think the annual leave excuse is the only way, or be honest as Chrys says, and tell her. The only other thing is, dh and Jo's oh share a hobby and see each other a lot, so could be awkward if I don't go. Arrgh.
Will update when things develop.
Maybe you should withdraw the a/l request for the time off so that you are actually working when the time comes around that you should have gone away, they way you won't have DH telling Jo's OH that you're off work. But tbh, I think I'd just tell her that you're not keen on going, say your mouth ran away with you when you were a bit drunk & that you're just not interested in going. Good luck.
I think you're right, germgirl. I'll ring her later.
I think you should think of things she wouldn't like to do and say that you're looking forward to doing them with her, non-stop all day long, then going back to the hotel for a bath and an early night.
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