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Mum hates soon to be hubby!! WWUD?

(10 Posts)
Buriedalive Fri 21-Feb-14 10:39:47

Don't want to drag it out so I'll keep it short and sweet.

My mum hates my oh, but saying that, shes not his biggest fan (or anybody's for that matter)

We went to visit the family, his and mine, and she said df was not welcome at their house, so I told her I wouldn't be going either.

We have her wedding invite, we decided to keep on to it for now until things calm down but because her oh is playing a big part in this that we would only invite my mum.. until yesterday, when she called up up for a chitchat, and then began to call my df, we ended up rowing and I put the phone down in tears.

Df has said he doesn't wont her that at all now. I know if I really wanted her there he'd come round, but now I don't no whether or not I should invite her.. I would love her there because shes my mum, and its a big day for me, but she doesn't get a long with hardly on of the guests that will be attending, and do I think she'll cause trouble? Yes, I'm just not sure who with!!!


DaleyBump Fri 21-Feb-14 11:09:02

Does she have reason to dislike him?

sykadelic15 Sat 22-Feb-14 03:34:56

She doesn't need to like him, but she does need to respect your choice. She has every right to, and should, to tell you what she doesn't like about him and why (in case she's concerned he's using you or whatever) but once said, she needs to let it lie.

A friend of mine married a guy her family doesn't like. Her family had extremely valid points that I, as one of her best friends, totally agreed with but she stubbornly refused to listen to them (I didn't tell her my feelings on it, just that I hope she is happy). Admittedly her family handled it very poorly and said their opinion with anger rather than caring.

How I would react to my family disliking my fiance would depend on their reasons for disliking him. But some people, like my friend above, wouldn't listen even if those opinions were valid.

If you plan to marry your fiance anyway, I would tell your mother she is not invited to the wedding unless she changes her manner towards your fiance. She won't be able to attend and be happy for you, no matter how much you want her to, but you may be able to get her to keep it to herself. If not, maybe in time she can attend a renewal of vows or something like that.

brettgirl2 Sat 22-Feb-14 17:29:59

I guess it depends on whether she is generally a trouble maker or whether she has your best interests at heart.....

MaryWestmacott Sat 22-Feb-14 17:57:37

What reasons does she give for disliking him or does she refuse to say why she doesn't like him?

I would say send the invite, be the bigger person. She doesn't have to go, but then she can't say she wasn't welcome.

MrsDavidBowie Sat 22-Feb-14 18:01:45

Why doesn't she like him?
Has he got 10 kids/been in jail or on Jeremy Kyle?
Do the rest of your family like him?

Buriedalive Sun 23-Feb-14 19:39:57

MrsDavidBowie, no but her OH has irony!!! Not jezza though, yet. She doesn't like the way he disaplins the kids. Thinks the 'thinking corner, naughty spot or whatever you wanna call it will have long lasting damage!!

Buriedalive Sun 23-Feb-14 19:41:12

And yes, he gets on fine with the rest of the family. My mum on the otherhand doesn't.

MaryWestmacott Sun 23-Feb-14 21:06:43

Is she normally interfering with everyone else? And are the DCs his?

I'd still invite her, be the bigger person.

Buriedalive Mon 24-Feb-14 09:38:38

Don't know i you'd call it that Mary, but my df has had it easy.. My sisters blokes would get beaten up.

Yes they are his children.

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