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Baby no 3?

(8 Posts)
nothingbyhalves Fri 07-Feb-14 22:52:57

Dh has just got new job with significant pay increase. We have dt's aged 4. I'm not far off 40. Reason we haven't had any more kids was primarily due to money, and secondarily due to my fear after rather complicated pregnancy with dt's.

But suddenly the money implication has gone. We can now afford another baby! Dh isn't keen, but I can't help feel you don't regret another child, but go regret not having another child..... Also feel like its now or never due to my age . Wwyd?

sarahquilt Sat 08-Feb-14 19:49:53

Honestly, in my opinion two is the perfect number. However, everyone has a different perspective.

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 08-Feb-14 19:52:19

I'd do nothing unless DH agreed.

bigwellylittlewelly Sat 08-Feb-14 19:59:02

I think that you might want to think about why you might want another child?

I know that I haven't finished having babies, I have two girls. However. I also know it is very unlikely that I will have another child, two complicated deliveries and my age mean it would be a difficult decision to knowingly proceed with a third pregnancy.

But I know exactly why I want that third chance.

Timetoask Sat 08-Feb-14 20:11:22

I think the reading you give for having another child is not strong enough, what if he loses his job, what for whatever reason he earns less?
If dh is not fully happy with the idea I wouldn't do it. I guess it's a very personal thing but I am 40 now and the idea of cleaning poo, not sleeping and toilet training feels me with absolute dread. Also, I have a child with sn and I adore him but it has been such hard work, I really wouldn't risk it.

meeemooo Sat 08-Feb-14 20:27:22

We have 3, and my last was born when I was 39 (I'm 40 now). Actually a third doesn't make as big a hole in the wallet as the first, even less if they are the same sex of course! We have reused the cot, buggies, clothes etc. We both always wanted 3. I think there is never a perfect time for a baby for most couples, and that you get by and cope regardless of financial circumstances. However, having your OH on board is crucial.

deelite72 Sun 09-Feb-14 13:06:30

We're expecting baby no. 3 which was a BIG surprise... wonderful actually! But I am your age as well and we didn't plan on any more for lots of different reasons. My husband was initially stressed out about it, but we'll manage. I think that if it happens, it happens. But I wouldn't push to eek a third one out. Otherwise you'll get swallowed up in that over 40s desperation to have another kid which is a big strain on a family. I've just seen too many of my friends go through this 'last big push' and it eats them up. The fertility window is beginning to close ever so slowly around the age of 40 and suddenly, after years of being cool with having their family just the way it is, many mums I've known go bezerk in an attempt to have one more. Our age presents the reality of the curtain going down on our most fertile years, which is why we ask the question: should we go for it one last time? But just remember, if it doesn't happen, life has a varying menu. There's lots going on without baby number 3 and hey, if baby number 3 comes along, what a wonderful blessing. Have fun trying but don't get hung up is all I'm saying.

anothernumberone Sun 09-Feb-14 13:08:21

IMO 2 is the perfect number too <eyes number 3 across the room >. It is down to whatever you feel is right.

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