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Silly dilemma with school parent, but stressing me nonetheless

(8 Posts)
deelite72 Fri 07-Feb-14 11:14:20

I almost feel silly writing this. There are so many other real concerns out there. But i have a situation which I believe I am not handling well.
Our daughter goes to a local nursery around the corner. One of the dads, a very friendly, sociable guy, is quite invasive. So when my daughter didn't settle into nursery, he would take her hand from mine, kneel down, chat to her and bring her into the nursery block and say goodbye to her on my behalf. It really annoyed me, even if it was well-intended. After the third time of doing this, I told him, "I need to be the one saying goodbye to my little girl, but thanks anyway. You're very kind." He's always asking me for coffee and I am always saying "No I can't". I find myself lying (oh my husband is at home waiting for me, my eldest son is home from school ill so I need to run, I have a doctor's appointment, etc). He always tries to get me to commit to a day in the future when we can have coffee and instead of cutting him off, I say "Maybe, I'll see how my week goes." He's always suggesting we get our kids together to play. We are both married and I am heavily pregnant now with my third, so I don't think he fancies me or anything like that. But now I find myself taking my daughter in late to school because I can't face the exhaustion of having to deal with this guy who is often standing there, waiting to chat. I just don't know how to handle this without being cold about it and I find that really hard to do. Advice? Should I just wear a t-shirt that says, "I am not a coffee or school gate parent?" because I am so not that parent. I'm nice, but I am distant.

brettgirl2 Sat 08-Feb-14 09:00:13

I think you have to tell him he is making you feel uncomfortable. His behaviour is completely ott I think and if he has any social awareness he must know that surely?

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 08-Feb-14 09:09:11

I would probably respond next time with 'you are barking up the wrong tree mate, I'm just not that into you'.

deelite72 Sun 09-Feb-14 12:58:09

Thanks for the input both of you. I appreciate it. My brother has this saying which makes me laugh. "Some people don't take 'go to hell' as an answer." Not that I've given off that message either, but after someone gives me a couple of 'No' answers, I don't bug. I just have to be very blunt I guess. This is difficult.

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 09-Feb-14 13:00:47

It's only difficult because you are not the blunt type. Be the blunt type for this and say it. Then go back into non-blunt mode again.

deelite72 Sun 09-Feb-14 13:11:39

Thank you. I like that FunkyBoldRibena. I like that advice very much. I appreciate all of the input. Especially since I felt rather silly posting this. Thanks a mill.

YesIcan Sun 09-Feb-14 21:46:43

Isn't there a great mnet line 'no' is a full sentence. Smile and say 'no' - no excuses / explanations. If he still persists, get more blunt. Though someone thick enough to take it upon himself to take your upset dd by the hand.... You may need to become a lot more blunt.

Aussiemum78 Tue 11-Feb-14 11:01:38

Is he a sahd? Maybe he's finding it hard integrating into the "mum" world and trying too hard. Or he's a sleaze....

Could you steer him towards a play group?

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