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dd invited to tea, but doesn't want to go

(4 Posts)
autumnmum Wed 05-Feb-14 22:43:04

dd has been asked to tea at a classmates house, but she doesn't want to go. the mum of the child has always been very keen for the children to be friends and has repeatedly asked DD for tea over a number of years. I have found this quite difficult as I know my dd doesn't like her child but occaisionally DD has gone because (in her words) she feels sorry for him. However, last term she fell out with him because he was bullying another friend of hers. His mum was aware they had fallen out because she has asked me what it was all about and if I could make my DD be his friend again. (I found this a really awkward situation). Anyway, the upshot of this was the mum finally stopped asking DD for tea - until today. I got a text from her asking if DD could please come for tea next week. DD is 9 and doesn't want to go. She is friendly with this child at school because I have made it clear to her that we have to get on with people we have to mix with (be it school or work). However, I wouldn't go to tea with a work colleague I don't like so why should I force her to go to tea with a child she doesn't like? I could make excuses about work and being busy but I have done this for the last 3 years and the message isn't getting through. Do I bite the bullet and say she doesn't want to go? If I do, how do I phrase it? I really don't want to hurt anybody's feelings so I've a horrible feeling I am going to have to keep making excuses or force my DD to go. Any wise advice gratefully recieved!

Millipedewithherfeetup Wed 05-Feb-14 23:09:05

If this was me I would just say sorry she doesn't want to come, you could make it a bit easier on the othe rmum by saying something like, kids are funny little individuals, and she's going through a phase of being very unsociable say your just letting her get on with it. I would definitely not force her to go. Good luck op hope it sorts itself out, these things usually do !

K8Middleton Wed 05-Feb-14 23:13:27

Keep lying and say you're busy. You've done it for 3 years. A bit longer won't make much difference but have an honest conversation about it when you've covered it up for so long is likely to create a nasty situation.

newyearhere Thu 06-Feb-14 09:06:45

Just say thanks but she won't be able to come.

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