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New bf might be a dad

(3 Posts)
HelpPleaseSomeone Wed 15-Jan-14 15:38:10


I met my bf about a month and a half ago and things have moved very quickly. We get on very well and have already discussed spending the rest of our lives together. I even already have keys to his home.

Last night he dropped this massive bombshell on me which he found out two days ago. A girl he slept with at the end of October is pregnant and when the baby is born he is to take a paternity test.

I reacted well to the news - he was terrified to tell me, expecting me to leave him and never look back but I told him not to be silly and that what's happened has happened and we can't do anything except wait and see what happened with the test. He actually said he could handle the news and was more scared about telling me and losing me because of it.

Now that the news has sinked in though, I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with him over this, but in the past I have been married and fell pregnant before. I miscarried and can't stand to be around babies any more. It's not a jealousy thing or not being able to cope - I have just completely changed my tune when it comes to that area of life and am currently more focused on other things. I don't even know if I want children anymore - and I definitely wasn't expecting to have a baby in my life so soon!

I'm not good around children. I have gone from being obsessed about having a baby to avoiding all children under 10 years old as much as I possibly can. I don't even know why, I just get really awkward around them.

I don't know what to do about this situation, it would be silly to break up before knowing the truth of paternity but I don't know how I'll react if it turns out that he is a father - this won't happen until August/September time.

Does anyone have any advice?? Please don't say anything horrible. I know this is very selfish on my part and the welfare of the baby is most important but I would appreciate some advice on what someone in my situation would/should do.

Thank you

ThePartyArtist Wed 15-Jan-14 16:22:29

I suppose you just have to discuss how he'd envisage things going if it's his baby, how big a role he'd play, what his relationship with the mother would be etc. Even if he wants to be involved doesn't mean you have to be equally. Maybe explain your situation to him too?

uptheanty Wed 15-Jan-14 16:27:11

I think 6 weeks of knowing someone is far to early for you to be under so much pressure.

I would walk away if i was you. I wouldn't trust him either, be wary of any relationship that moves so fast.

I hope you feel better, sorry about your mc thanks

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