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if your partner hit you forcefully in an argument?

(42 Posts)
catcatcat Sun 05-Jan-14 17:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 20:59:04

He is messed up and is just trying to control you. You have done completely the right thing!

BillyBanter Sun 05-Jan-14 20:56:36

Do you have children? That complicates the contact issue. If you don't then text him saying.

Our relationship is over. Do not contact me again. Any further contact will be considered harassment and I will report it to the police.

His behaviour since this happened is a sure sign that he will not change and should not be given another chance.

MrsBennetsEldest Sun 05-Jan-14 20:35:40

I would stay, just long enough to take the bastard down and unleash the dogs of hell on his pathetic arse. I appreciate most would not react the same.

NachoAddict Sun 05-Jan-14 20:35:33

You did absolutely the right thing Op. Congratulations for being so strong. I hope you have plenty of support to stick to your guns.

He would do it again.

starlight1234 Sun 05-Jan-14 20:29:52

My Ex when visiting son in contact centre said he wanted to give it another go..I simply said I don't and if I did I wouldn't as I wouldn't risk losing my DS for you...He never asked again as he knew I never would..

Do you have children with this guy..If not refuse all contact..if you do arrange contact and drop off at a neutral point and refuse conversation about anything but your child

HedgehogsRevenge Sun 05-Jan-14 20:24:09

Change your number, ignore. You made the right decision. No need to engage anymore. One text to tell him to stop contacting you. Further contact from him= harassment.

ButICantaloupe Sun 05-Jan-14 20:21:43

I'm sorry that happened to you, catcatcat

Are you still in love with him?

I would do the same as you, for sure.

EirikurNoromaour Sun 05-Jan-14 20:18:53

Why are you still in contact with him?

LaurieFairyCake Sun 05-Jan-14 20:18:12

With my husband and no one else's I would assume something was very seriously wrong - Alzheimer's/psychotic break/severe stress.

But that's more than 10 years of marriage and a pacifist for a husband.

If it wasn't the above he'd be in jail.

catcatcat Sun 05-Jan-14 20:14:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NachoAddict Sun 05-Jan-14 19:58:19

I always said a I would leave but I didn't. It started with shouting, next time a shove, throwing things, by the time he got to hitting it was a small step from what had come before which had become normal. Not sure how to explain it.

If (different) dp hit me now I like to think I would leave straight away but finances and circumstances can be very compelling.

Hope your ok. If you have been hit, please do leave its never a one off.

russianmule Sun 05-Jan-14 19:52:03

Hmmm I think this may not be what it seems. But violence is violence and should never be tolerated in a relationship. Man or Woman.

ExcuseTypos Sun 05-Jan-14 19:45:18

I've always told myself I'd leave, and told my DDs that they must do the same.

I hope you're ok OP.

StillSlightlyCrumpled Sun 05-Jan-14 19:43:58

Sat here in complete control & not feeling vulnerable or fearful etc I would end the relationship immediately. But, I can imagine that faced with the reality of such a life changing decision you may waver.

I do hope you are okay OP?

KepekCrumbs Sun 05-Jan-14 19:41:11

Did you hit him op?

CrimsonDay Sun 05-Jan-14 19:39:46

I would leave the house then call police.

Are you ok OP?

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 19:19:55

OP are you safe?

BillyBanter Sun 05-Jan-14 19:17:48

Theory is all very well, OP, but most people who get hit by their partner don't call the police and don't end the relationship, not for that first hit, because by the time their partner is at the point of hitting them they have already ground them down, set them up to accept it. Or because it seems so out of character there must be some extraordinary reason for it that makes it a one off and the hitter will be apologetic and swear it won't happen again.

Answering your question makes me realise I maybe wouldn't call the police for a number of reasons.

Has something happened to prompt this thread?

MrsMaryCooper Sun 05-Jan-14 18:30:32

I think it would be the end of the relationship.

sykadelic15 Sun 05-Jan-14 18:25:08

Can you expand on what happened? Hit you forcefully in what way? On the arm? In the face? Kicked? Open-handed?

It would depend on the situation but most likely... in one case I'd call the police, the other I'd leave. I wouldn't be able to stay because I would be in fear of him. It's those situations where people can turn into doormats out of fear.

If it was a situation in which I hit first, then I'd leave because our relationship is over anyway as it's not like me to be violent. If I was badly hurt, I'd call the police.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sun 05-Jan-14 18:15:56

I'd press charges and throw them out.

Im assuming this is them hitting first and not hitting back, of course. If I had hit first then I would be in the wrong. We'd still have to split. You cant stay with someone once that line has been crossed.

thornrose Sun 05-Jan-14 18:05:46

OP are you ok? Is it you that's been hit?

Doinmummy Sun 05-Jan-14 18:03:05

I did call the police .

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 18:03:03

How on earth do you hit in a non forceful way?
Hit me and you will be out of my life. Locks changed etc!

ButICantaloupe Sun 05-Jan-14 17:58:19

I would call the police and then get a divorce.

Once is enough and no apologies can take it back.

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