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Sis 2 year old hitting my 5 year old, how can I stop it?

(12 Posts)
RenterNomad Mon 02-Dec-13 21:49:03

Would your DM agree to go out with your DS, and not answer your sister's calls, or have DS at your house, making the point that your DS needs protecting from his cousin?

Your mother diesn"t sound a very good carer fir DS. If you can do without her, do so, and tell her why, if she asks. Letting anyone draw blood and minimising it, and telling your DS to "give him what he wants" is a horrible message for poor DS! I'm impressed he hasn't hit back; he must have a very gentle soul. sad

GoodnessKnows Sat 23-Nov-13 21:27:05

I'd avoid having them thrown together. I'd tell your DSis that it's actually upsetting for you to watch her DS hit at your DS and that it's also upsetting for him.

Beamur Tue 19-Nov-13 23:06:32

It is his age to an extent, but this is the age that you have to start teaching about boundaries and not hurting other people.
How does Dsis (and Mum) react if you (gently and appropriately) discipline the 2 yr old?
Personally, in your shoes, I think I'd try and minimise the amount of time they are together, and if your son is getting hurt then you perhaps need to make sure he isn't around his cousin when you're not there to intervene. Your Mum does have to be on board with that though.
It's probably not worth falling out with your Dsis over a parenting style clash.
Perhaps you do need to give your son some ideas of how to deal with his cousin though and not just take the blows? I think he should be able to say no and you're hurting me. At 5 he too is only a little boy too. If there are any specific toys that trigger the little one wanting them (or does he want everything that someone else has..?) then keep them out of sight - I don't think you son should have to hand over his stuff just for a quiet life!

twinklingfairy Mon 18-Nov-13 00:29:13

I said to my mum tonight that Dsis would have to watch out for when her DC2 arrives, if her DS was choosing to hit mine, what might he do to a newborn.
It was acknowledged but not taken on any further.

I can only hope that I have planted a seed.

Rockchick1984 Sun 17-Nov-13 23:58:09

Explain the situation to your mum and say that you don't want your child around his cousin for a while - even if you have to dress it up along the lines of "I'm worried in case DS retaliates" and just keep the children apart for a few months, hopefully DC will grow out of it?

twinklingfairy Sun 17-Nov-13 23:11:25

Any suggestions?

twinklingfairy Sun 17-Nov-13 22:37:46

Lol, oops
It's been a long weekend.
My children were staying with my mum.
But whenever my Dsis hears I am at my mums, or on the way, she practically leaves scorch marks on the ground to get there too.
This weekend, my mum had them but my sis asked if she would babysit so she could go to the cinema, so my mum (and dad) took my pair up to my sisters house for an overnight.

twinklingfairy Sun 17-Nov-13 22:34:24

Oops, what do you mean not what documents, lol

twinklingfairy Sun 17-Nov-13 22:33:28

Schmee, what documents, have my son where?
Beamur, they have started to but, as I say, after 3 attempts they seem to get tired of taking him out of the room because it really achieves nothing, and start telling my DS to hand over whatever his DC wants, or to move.
The intentions start well, but it doesn't stop it.
And now the blood.

schmee Sun 17-Nov-13 22:28:49

Do you have to have your DS there?

Beamur Sun 17-Nov-13 22:25:20

Is the 2yr old told that it's not nice to hit other children or given any kind of indication this behaviour is not ok?

twinklingfairy Sun 17-Nov-13 22:21:56

My sisters son is 2 in feb and has taken to hitting my DS, just turned 5.
My DS just takes it, saying auw, every time a blow is hit (its repetitive blows) but does nothing to retaliate because his cousin is only small.
When DS shouts, they have just started to remove his cousin but he comes straight back in to repeat the process. After about 3 goes, they give up and tell DS that he is obviously upsetting him, give him what ever it is he wants.
Today I came home after 3 days away attending a course, to discover that his cousin has actually drawn blood.
DD and DS tell me that it is because DC tried to pick DS up and his nails were too long so he cut into my DS shoulder.
That's ok, I guess, but also understandably upsetting. It was hard enough to leave them so long.
But then DD tells me that my sister told them that blood was good, it would heal faster that way hmm

I am just getting a little tired of it.
Both DS and I are told not to over react, that it is just because he is so young and doesn't understand. Though he understand well enough to say sorry and bad.
Both my sis and mum dismiss it all as being his age.
But it is very frustrating that DS is just expected to put up and accept it,then blamed somehow for it.
They, I feel, are turning my DS into a victim and DCinto a bully.
What could this mean to my DS childhood.

It's also a worry because my sis is expecting her second, in Feb.
Surely she should be a bit worried about what he DS is going/capable of doing to the newborn.
All under the title of 'just being a boy'
My 'boy' has never hit like this.
I know all children are different and boys can be boisterous but what canI do to stop my DS taking the brunt sad

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