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So husband tells me yesterday that he plans on doing 8 day charity cycle ride in Vietnam, leaving Thursday!!!!WWYD?

(38 Posts)
hmc Sat 02-Nov-13 17:38:40

He has known about the date for this for at least 6 months. He has mentioned it to me before in the generality - but I thought it was months away - not imminent. Am proper pissed off at lack of notice. Any thoughts?

whattodoo Sat 02-Nov-13 17:40:28

Has he raised the money yo fund the trip?
Have you children?
How will it affect you practically, while he's away?

lljkk Sat 02-Nov-13 17:41:57

1) I'd feel very jealous of him.
2) I'd start plotting my no-notice jolly as well.
3) I dunno, he sound disorganised rather than purely selfish. Is that wrong?

Lavenderhoney Sat 02-Nov-13 17:43:48

Didn't he have to do loads of cycling to train and get jabs? Plus sort out a special cushion for his bike? And have meetings, drum up money?

Sounds a bit last minute to me. What do you have to do he was supposed to be helping with? And now can't?

headlesslambrini Sat 02-Nov-13 17:46:47

Right now, I'd pack his bags, wish him well and enjoy 8 whole days to myself. Oh and double check the travel insurance, just in case.

Can you tell that I'm pissed with my DH or am I managing to hide it?

hmc Sat 02-Nov-13 17:49:05

He has raised the money to fund the trip. I think it is a great thing to do and he went to India 18 months ago for similar thing. I have two children. It won't affect me massively in practical terms - I just think its really fecking rude!!!! And inconsiderate!

whattodoo Sat 02-Nov-13 17:51:58

Blimey! I agree its rude, and it doesn't say great things about how you both communicate.

I don't know what you can do about it though.

hmc Sat 02-Nov-13 18:20:15

Well I can say you are not bloody going and apparently he would accept that in the circs - but then what kind of person would that make me! It's not a real choice!

Ragwort Sat 02-Nov-13 18:22:53

What is his reason for not telling you earlier?

I can't really understand it, my DH and I 'co-ordinate' our diaries all the time just for dull things like a committee meeting or taking elderly parents to the doctors, can't imagine just not mentioning an 8 day trip to Vietnam confused.

AndyMurraysBalls Sat 02-Nov-13 18:26:33

I'd do it too! What a fab opportunity!

However, if your DCs are young then it's bloody ignorant if you're left with no childcare for your shifts etc.

If that is the case I'd be livid.

You should both have checked the dates, tbh. However, I think waving him off and then having a serious search for where to go on your own 'jolly' when he gets back is the way forward. smile

tribpot Sat 02-Nov-13 18:30:37

Did you post when he did this last time? It sounds very familiar. Assuming that wasn't you, did he give you no notice for the India trip as well?

exexpat Sat 02-Nov-13 18:33:21

Maybe it's time you had a big family calendar on the kitchen wall or linked online diaries so that you are both aware of important dates? Sounds like a serious lack of communication. Has he been getting whatever jabs etc he needs? And buying stuff, packing, training? I can't believe you wouldn't have noticed the preparations going on.

Ragwort Sat 02-Nov-13 18:35:12

How did he raise all the money without you being aware? What about visas, medical & travel insurance, the training, the sort of bike & equipment he needs, injections etc etc etc. My DH travels regularly abroad on business and has so much admin stuff to deal with that unless you lead totally independent lives I just don't see how he hasn't mentioned it before?

Yama Sat 02-Nov-13 18:37:01

My dh would never do anything like this by choice but if he informed me that he had to go away for 8 days for work I'd get my parents down to help me with the dc.

Not only rude to you Hmc but also your dc.

ChippingInLovesAGoodBang Sat 02-Nov-13 18:37:24

How weird?! How does this happen?

PrincessKitKat Sat 02-Nov-13 18:39:10

If he's really that disorganised, find out if he's sorted his visa, or he won't even make it as far as the departure lounge...!

SilverApples Sat 02-Nov-13 18:52:02

Did you not ask him what the date was when he was fundraising?

SilverApples Sat 02-Nov-13 18:54:12

'Maybe it's time you had a big family calendar on the kitchen wall'

After the lifeforms in the house, it's the next thing I'd rescue in a fire. smile
OP, have you been completely uninterested in this from the start?

mummytime Sat 02-Nov-13 19:27:06

DH and I share our Goggle calendars. As I tell him, if it isn't in the Goggle Calendar it doesn't exist.

I can't imagine not knowing DH was about to go off to do something like that though.

claudedebussy Sat 02-Nov-13 19:31:03

i'd be pissed off but would also not ban him.

sounds like you don't have small kids. i think in your shoes i'd book some time off and do similar. tis only way to get it out your system. you need to make opportunities for yourself too, so that you don't become resentful.

why can't you both have a good time?

also, while he's gone, do lots of special things with the kids that you wouldn't normally do.

FriskyHenderson Sat 02-Nov-13 19:52:15

I'd wonder how well insured he was grin

misdee Sat 02-Nov-13 19:54:39

I have been guilty of not paying attention to dates in the past

'xx is soon'

'is it? how soon'

'next week'

'I thought it was 6 months away'

hmc Sat 02-Nov-13 20:34:32

He hasn't trained - he never does. Didn't really for India either, he has a very good base level of fitness without having to do a thing! He gave me much more notice for India. The reason he didn't tell me earlier apparently was because he was head in the sand - he doesn't like to bugger off and leave the family for 8 days apparently and wasn't mad keen on going - but it's too late now to pull out and he feels obliged to go (rolls eyes). Fund raising was easy - he is an IFA and has a zillion

hmc Sat 02-Nov-13 20:36:05

A zillion clients who also sponsored him last time

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