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Would you go away without your DC on their birthday?

(54 Posts)
Pennies Mon 07-Oct-13 19:44:18

We have been invited to a very glam and exciting sounding weekend which will be incredibly good fun. The trouble is is that it's a whole weekend away from Friday morning until Sunday evening and my DD's 8th birthday will be on the Friday. We can't celebrate it the week before or the week after due to other things already in the diary and then it's Xmas and New Year.

Would you go or not?

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 07-Oct-13 20:39:13

I remember my dad being away on my 11th birthday. i was gutted but i was work and i knew he would rather have been with me

the way I see it, you probably have a max of 16 birthdays (prob less!) where their birthday is a special family event and they actually want you around on those days. That's 16 days out of many many years.

Of course if birthdays aren't a big deal in your family (like DSM) then that is a different matter.

capercaillie Mon 07-Oct-13 20:37:30

No. And I've had that situation twice. The first time was a weekend when DS birthday was on the Sunday. The 2nd time it was his birthday on the Monday - I decided it would be odd not to see him the day before (he's only 6) and in the end, that was the day we had a family party. When he's a bit older, then I might but not until he's a teenager. And possibly not even then.

notanyanymore Mon 07-Oct-13 20:36:31

No way!

RevelsRoulette Mon 07-Oct-13 20:35:33

I wouldn't. Not at that age. Things like that matter to kids.

flipchart Mon 07-Oct-13 20:34:30

Not at 8.

I was away for DS's birthday this year though but it was his 17th!!

SoonToBeSix Mon 07-Oct-13 20:33:06

No definitely not.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Mon 07-Oct-13 20:32:49

Hell would freeze over before I would go.

NotScared Mon 07-Oct-13 20:32:48

No. DS1 is 16 and still remembers exdh going to London on a trip for one of his birthdays.

Chubfuddler Mon 07-Oct-13 20:32:00

While they are still children and the choice is mine, I would choose to spend the anniversary of the day I have birth to them with my children. It really is that simple.

usualsuspect Mon 07-Oct-13 20:29:12


Hulababy Mon 07-Oct-13 20:27:20

See, I have no issue with parties and special treat days, etc being before or after the actually birthday. But I still couldn't miss the actual day with DD unless it was essential for me to go away. There is, for me anyway, something special about the actual day itself - presents in the morning, more when they get home from school, special birthday tea with cake...

Hulababy Mon 07-Oct-13 20:23:53

No I wouldn't chose to miss DD's birthday.

fatmumjane Mon 07-Oct-13 20:20:26


AcrylicPlexiglass Mon 07-Oct-13 20:11:50

No. Definitely not. I couldn't bear to miss one of my children's birthdays and 8 is a great age!

DSM Mon 07-Oct-13 20:11:46

Yep. And I have done. As long as you celebrate another day I don't think it's a big deal.

I didn't see my mum on my birthday from age 9-30!

We don't make a huge fuss over birthdays anyway, maybe that's why it's not an issue for us but I find the whole 'special day' thing kind of cringey.

BoffinMum Mon 07-Oct-13 20:10:35


Your child will get the impression you don't give a shit.

darkdays Mon 07-Oct-13 20:08:53

Absolutely not, how selfish!

TooTabooToBOOOOO Mon 07-Oct-13 20:07:25

actually in '66 it probably wasn't Mud, buggered if I know which band it was though

Ireallymustbemad Mon 07-Oct-13 20:06:54

No, I wouldn't go and leave my 8yo on their birthday either.

TooTabooToBOOOOO Mon 07-Oct-13 20:05:25

No it wouldn't even cross my mind. It's one day a year.

I'm sure you being there in the morning would be great for her - make her know how special she is, erm no actually it won't she will wonder why her parents would rather spend her birthday without her.

My mum is 56, she still talks about her 9th birthday when she was handed a Mud LP and watched as her parents buggered off camping for the weekend, leaving her in the care of her older sister. It hurt her and she says she can still remember the upset now.

I am gobsmacked that, work commitments aside, anybody wouldn't spend the day with their child.

Mintyy Mon 07-Oct-13 20:04:47

Do you really have to ask?

Floggingmolly Mon 07-Oct-13 20:03:46


5madthings Mon 07-Oct-13 20:03:35

Nope, dp has to go away for ds1's bday with work every yearand it's crap, ds1 hates it and so does ds1 so I would never choose to be away on their bdays.

defineme Mon 07-Oct-13 20:01:47

But she can have a nice meal out or something on the Thursday and go to Harry potter world 2 weeks after?

My boy girl twins often do something a couple of weeks after if it's a big trip out--sometimes they do separate things so it's not possible to fit them all in on the 'right' weekend.

I don't think it's that awful, but I do appear to be in the minority!

stillenacht Mon 07-Oct-13 20:01:29


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