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career v kids

(8 Posts)
feelingdizzy Mon 16-Sep-13 15:55:56

A dilemma I am having at the moment, hoping I can get some ideas from others.

I am a lone parent have been for 10 years have 2 dcs aged 10 and 11. They are happy ,get on well at school have lots of friends. I live in a beautiful part of the west of Ireland where they have so much freedom.

However there are no jobs, I am a teacher ,specialise in working with children with ASD .I have 10 hours teaching a week and have taken on the cleaning job at school. To make ends meet. I also love a challenge and am so bored and feel all my hard work has been for nothing. It's making me grumpy and a bit of a martyr to if I'm honest.

I am making ends meet but just, life is really hard at the moment especially with 2 kids approaching their teens.

My dilemma is I have been looking at jobs in England and talking to an agency with my experience and qualifications I could land a well paid job. I really don't want to up-root my kids and I am making ends meet ,but the thought of another 5-7 years of this depresses me beyond belief. I have had depression but have been 'well' for about 5 years and that also factors in.

Their father has recently gone to England as he is a teacher also.

So please help. WWYD

Janek Mon 16-Sep-13 16:14:07

I completely appreciate how you feel you are wasting your skills, and would love to have more money and i don't know what i would do in your situation. BUT my dp is irish, we met at university and he always used to say that english people were very different from irish people. I thought he was talking nonsense until i lived in dublin for a year (with him!). I went to work and people were friendly and would talk to me and it was like there was a language barrier, i couldn't quite work out what to say!?!

Now this is ridiculous, as i am really quite chatty, but it was true nonetheless. It became apparent when i was leaving that i was very well thought of, but i didn't really have any friends and was actually quite lonely.

We know live in england and i am perfectly happy, but dp regrets that he doesn't live in ireland, that no one is like him and that he'll probably never live where he is from again.

It might just be us who feels this way, but i think it's something to consider. Could move to dublin/galway/cork and get a better job instead?

Quincejelly Mon 16-Sep-13 17:39:41

Do you know any friends who have moved to live in England? Could you go and stay with them for a holiday and get an impression of their lives.
I am English and have emigrated to Germany. I know what Janek means - I will never be from here, there are cultural differences which will never leave me. But, that doesn´t stop me from having a good life here. Life will never be perfect anywhere. The fact that people find some aspects of my Englishness quaint or completely crazy gets to me sometimes but definitely not that much of the time. I think it is strange leaving your home country but it can also be exciting and enriching. It doesn´t have to be forever...
And I have got some good friends here ... even if quite a few are English!!! smile It does help to meet up with people from your home country to laugh about the weird ways of the country you´re living in!

feelingdizzy Tue 17-Sep-13 14:23:11

Thanks for the answers, have lived in England previously, I liked it am more concerned about the impact of uprooting the kids.
The work situation here is so dire ,think I may tough it out for a year and then look at things again.

Quincejelly Tue 17-Sep-13 20:46:56

I´m sure that having you feeling happy is much more important to your kids. It won´t be easy for them leaving friends but will be easier now than in a few years´time, I would think.

holidaybug Tue 17-Sep-13 20:48:53

I'd move to England - there will be more prospects for your kids too when they start on the career ladder.

Bumpstarter Tue 17-Sep-13 20:54:35

Hi there. I would consider how the move, settling the kids, living in a more urban location, and working more hours would affect your mental health. I'm not saying don't do it, but I have a number of friends who have found that their mental health has really improved by living a slower lifestyle in a rural area, and then had a relapse when returning to full time work.

I think age 10/ 11 is an IDEAL age to uproot the kids as they will be going to a new school with everyone else, so they won't be the new kid.

manyhands Wed 18-Sep-13 22:10:30

It's also very difficult to get a teaching job in England at the moment. I'd look carefully into the jobs market where you are planning to move.

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