Advanced search

If your dhs nan died and you were at work?

(10 Posts)
SkylerRose Sat 14-Sep-13 20:29:32

I have only been married a few years but my dhs nan has been so kind to me and was like a mum to dh.
Yes we have known for a few months she had cancer but only found out when she nearly died from blood poisoning.
Now I told my boss when she died I would want to leave work to be there for dh and grandad.
I got the call this morning before my boss got to work that nan was slipping away and immediately phoned dhs work to let him know. Now I was (and still am) quite upset but when I asked my boss if I could go to be with dh and say goodbye he was an utter dick about it as I couldn't say how long I would be gone and told me "to go on and fuck off then"
Wwyd in this situation?

BigW Sat 14-Sep-13 20:38:22

First off, I don't think that there is any excuse for using that kind of language in the work place. It's bullying and aggressive.

At my place you are only allowed to take compassionate leave for immediate family. In practice though, people leave if they feel that they need to. It happens so very rarely that a bit of compassion goes a long way. I have been there 6 years and it happened to me once. I really appreciated being told to forget about work for the day.

So my opinion is that they don't have to let you go, but unless you are king of the world, it doesn't hurt.

As to what you should do.... I don't know blush sorry.

And sorry for what your family are going through flowers

iliketea Sat 14-Sep-13 20:38:30

Ignore the boss - he is being a twat. And go to your GP and asked to be signed off sick if you feel the need to support your husband and grieve.

Honestly, your boss clearly has zero compassion. And not sure how useful you would be at work upset about the situation.

Hope your Dh's nan has a peaceful, pain-free last few hours / days.

iliketea Sat 14-Sep-13 20:42:48

I've been in the situation where I heard a much loved aunt had died (expected) when I was at work. I was clearly upset and very nearly told them to stuff my job when all my line manager said was "so are you okay to keep working?" - and that was a nurse!. I told her I just needed 20mins or so (cup of tea and a few tears away from the residents of the home) and even then she made a fuss about giving me that. Some people just have zero compassion.

SkylerRose Sat 14-Sep-13 21:09:16

I've been there for 7 years and his excuses will be we're short staffed its a busy weekend and what's ur problem it's not your nan .....
They tried calling me a few hours later and I didn't have my phone on me. I txt them saying she had gone and I couldn't face going in but should be back tomoro. Heard nothing at all.....
Yes we think her last few days were fairly pain free due to high doses of morphine. And I work in a fish shop /cafe so upset and working with fryers not a good combo.
if he is a dick again when I go in tomoro yes he will be being told to stick the job. I may put work before my health but I will not put work before family!

Bunbaker Sat 14-Sep-13 21:24:09

Your boss clearly has no idea how to treat his staff. That said, I think you would be expected to take the absence out of your annual leave allocation given that it wasn't a close relative.

Sorry for your loss.

Howstricks Sat 14-Sep-13 21:28:29

I am sorry for your loss. There is no need for your employer to use that language. As an employer it can be incredibly hard to be as generous and compassionate as you should be when you are stretched and an employee unexpectedly taking time off leads to angry let down customers. Part of the role is to remain professional though.

SkylerRose Sat 14-Sep-13 21:29:05

I wouldn't care if it was taken from leave or just given as a day off. I just want him to stop being a dick and treating me like shit... But I know I have a better chance of winning jackpot on lottery.....

Nerfmother Sat 14-Sep-13 21:30:59

Well I think most workplaces would be reluctant to allow staff time off for their other half's granny.
Funeral is one thing but an unspecified sitting by the bed length of time - not sure I'd be happy with it tbh.
Sorry, I know you are close but individual circumstances will always be different to policy.

Howstricks Sat 14-Sep-13 21:32:06

Slight crossed post..I work with maintenance engineers and missed appts can mean no heat or hot water!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now