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Always thinking about size

(20 Posts)
Feelingfatty Sat 07-Sep-13 23:06:37

Okay so i need advice really from others that may feel similar to me. I am currently about a stone overweight (according to bmi) I wear a size 10-12 and am 5 foot 6. I have been a stone lighter and a few stone heavier but whatever weight/size I am I always think about my size I always look at other women and envy them. If they're bigger I assume they're happy (stupid I know) and envy that if they're smaller i envy their will power and wish I could be like them. I exercise 5/6 days a week either running or gym but my diet isn't great, not awful but not great. I just wish I could stop thinking about it or do something about it. I know in ranting but I think about it at least 70% of my day and it really gets me down. Advice really needed!!

thenightsky Sat 07-Sep-13 23:10:25

I don't think exercise makes much difference to be honest (sorry).

Diet is key. Look at the low carb threads. I've lost 26lbs low carbing. I found it stopped me living on junk food and enjoying real food, cooked from scratch.

Feelingfatty Sat 07-Sep-13 23:13:45

No I don't think exercise does either! Have you found you stopped feeling bad about yourself?? I find it difficult as I know when I have lost weight that feeling hasn't disappeared like I am striving for something unrealistic? I know I'm not massively overweight. Could do with losing a stone but realistically not lots more but that realistic side of me doesn't seem to relate to what I see in the mirror always have a sinking feeling about my appearance/weight only way I can describe it?

Feelingfatty Sat 07-Sep-13 23:14:14

Also thanks for reply!!

Dilidali Sat 07-Sep-13 23:44:26

I am a stone over what I should be ( says me).
But I don't think any of the stuff you say. I'm quite happy in myself, maybe I live in cuckoo land, but I genuinely don't get too upset about the weight ishoo, I gave up sugar in drinks and I am going to do the 100 day challenge princessing thingy, shred and not touch biscuits for 100 days, because I wobble. Is it just your physical appearance that gives you that feeling?

Feelingfatty Sun 08-Sep-13 10:42:41

Weirdly it's more about weight than my appearance, my weight determines how I feel about my appearance iyswim? I try to be logical but find it very difficult! I think I've probably been like it since I lost 4 stone after having my daughter.

thenightsky Sun 08-Sep-13 12:39:36

I understand what you mean about weight dictating your mood for the day. I do get on the scales every morning and this is a habit I cannot break (control-freakery?)

I do feel much better now I've lost the 20+ lbs I've piled on over the last couple of years. This mainly because I feel comfortable in my clothes. Before I was always trying to hide the overflow/muffin top/bingo wings/back fat and sideways bra bulge.

celticclan Sun 08-Sep-13 13:11:00

Are you really a stone overweight? 5:6 wearing a size 10-12 doesn't sound overweight. If you were shorter it would be different.

I'm 5:2 and at a stone overweight I would be in a 14-16.

How much do you weigh if you don't mind me asking.

I personally think that we should all aim to be within the healthy weight range. Being even a few pounds overweight doesn't do us any favours health wise. You say that you envy other women so your self-esteem would most likely benefit if you lost weight.

I started 5:2 on Friday. I hope to lose 3 stone in 10 months. I'm 1:5 stones overweight but feel and look so much better when I am at the lower end of the weight chart.

JiminyCricket Sun 08-Sep-13 13:24:10

I would suggest that you seperate out the two things - 1. Preoccupation with weight, which sounds like it is a really distressing problem for you, and 2. your actual weight which I don't really have an opinion on for you (except that I think living healthy for the sake of being healthy is a more important goal than weight loss, especially if you are close to or within the normal range). To try to reduce your preoccupation with weight you could actively notice how often you are having these thoughts, challenge them with a less negative more balanced view of yourself, quit the comparing habit - we always compare ourselves very selectively. When i look round a room i rarely find the thinnest person the most attractive, unless she/he is (ie its not their weight that I find attractive/enviable). I don't have time for a longer reply, but hope you can find some space from these distressing and self critical thoughts. you could also try mindfulness techniques, or 'the body image workbook' by cash. HTH

HorryIsUpduffed Sun 08-Sep-13 13:29:21

I don't think changing your weight will make any difference to how you feel - you've said so yourself. Changing your diet long term for the sake of your heart would be of more benefit than dieting to a weight someone else says is ideal (no matter how expert).

I think you need to speak to your GP about a referral for CBT or other counselling, or even to the local eating disorders unit (as an outpatient). It's your thinking that needs changing, not your body.

Feelingfatty Sun 08-Sep-13 15:57:40

Yep definitely a stone overweight according to bmi. I weigh 11.10-12 stone depending on day and my healthy range goes up2 11 stone. I'm always upper of weight range even when I've been slimmest of small 10 (a year ago) my mum is also heavy for size think it may be a genetic thing!

Thanks for other replys as well I think I need to up self esteem as well, just not sure how to! I know I'm healthy as I do a lot of exercise (almost daily) so although slightly overweight being unhealthy isn't a worry if that makes sense more just the worry about how I look/how much I weigh! I shall look up that book thanks xx

Parmarella Sun 08-Sep-13 16:04:03

Find the strength to chuck the f###ing scales out.

Then find an outside interest that can absorb your mind a bit ( for me tennis, garden and reading) can be anything, find out what you like. That way you start to define yourself through other things. Volunteering great too.

I would steer clear from diets ( as the make people obsessive with weight and food IMO) but maybe do cut back on alcohol, sweets, biscuits, puddings etc.

I live as I preach, it works for me. Try it?,

Feelingfatty Sun 08-Sep-13 16:09:00

I am very tempted to through the scales out I think that's what I need to do! And just remain conscious of what I eat. I also disagree with diets so think I may just need to do that! Maybe limit myself to weighing myself at the gym once a month? I think chucking out the scales may work! Did you do the same? Did you obsess before? X

Feelingfatty Sun 08-Sep-13 16:10:36

Throw not through ha!

NoComet Sun 08-Sep-13 16:23:43

Listen to Horryisupduffed it's your thinking you need to change.

You need to be proud of who you are and happy in your own skin. Seriously talk to your GP about counselling, find an evening class, join your play group committee, a choir, throw yourself into your work.

I don't know what makes you feel happy, for filled and as if you have achieved something, but something must.

I'm guessing dieting did when you were, over weight after having DD, but that job is finished it's time to move on and find self esteem in other places.

Feelingfatty Sun 08-Sep-13 16:30:08

Oh starball do you know I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Maybe I did feel fulfilled/proud losing all the weight after having dd. I know I have gradually put a little back on bit in grand scheme of things I know it's not much and that's why I find it so annoying that I feel down about it! I am part of a toddler group and have very full days. I'm very much enjoying running which I've only just started. Doing couch to 5k on week 7. Maybe I need to throw away scales on concentrate on everything else for a while and if I still feel the same in a month or so go to docs?

Parmarella Sun 08-Sep-13 18:58:52

I never obsessed to the same degree as you, but I did break the scales one day and never replaced them.

If I feel bloated or my jeans are too tight, I watch what I eat a bit more ( obvious things like snaller portions, more veg, less of the take aways, no pudding etc). I think that long term, very restrictive dieting messes with your metabolism, and is not sustainable long term , Sensible eating ( normal portions, no bingeing) however is doable and does not feel like punishment. If you overdo it one day, just compensate the next day.

The famine (diet) or feast ( binge! "Naughty foods") mentality is the road to nowhere IMO.

Also, seriously, doing a rewarding job ( paid or voluntary) takes you out of yourself and is fab for self esteem.

dadinthehat Thu 19-Sep-13 10:23:38

Please remember that bmi is nonsense. It takes no account of important factors such as waist size and body type. It was developed as a quick equation for the insurance industry to use in assessing risk. Ignore it.
I was going to link to a piece about why its rubbish but I'm not sure how to do a clicks link.'s+wrong+with+bmi&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari

amumthatcares Fri 20-Sep-13 16:17:57

I'm 5' 7" and currently weigh just below 10 stone and am a size 10. At the beginning of the year, I was 11+ stone and squeezing into a size 12. I wanted to lose weight but didn't start a diet as such. I cut out all snacking and picking in between meals. I don't have a sweet tooth so didn't find it difficult to stop cakes/biscuits etc., but I did eat crisps so cut those out. I also cut down on alcohol and drank plenty of water during the day. I cut out bread and potatoes, bulking up my meal with extra veg. I still had a takeaway at the weekend grin I also started training to do the 10k Race For Life and have carried on fast walking since then. It took quite a while to start shifting the weight but when I did, it was gradual and it has stayed off. Tbh, I think us taller ladies can carry extra weight without looking big and a size 10/12 it not fat. Also, weight doesn't = fat either, maybe you are heavier boned smile

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 21-Sep-13 08:33:19

Agree with others. I only have a very vague idea if what my weight is and I do exercise sometimes, but I do it because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good.

Think you need to eat more healthily, it will help with your mood. Try slimming world, there's a free 7 day mealplan on their website and think there is an offer on too at the mo. Try some oily fish too, it helps my Dhs mood no end.

The obsessing is a different matter. It's no wonder you are unhappy. I really recommend you talk to your GP and ask for some CBT. It will really help with our negative thought patterns. The book Get Some Headspace is good too smile

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