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41, lone parent, pregnant...

(5 Posts)
NoNoNoMYDoIt Thu 05-Sep-13 20:04:31

Tested positive yesterday.

Boyfriend doesn't live with me, and his financial situation is bad so I can't really rely on him for any financial support.

2 kids aged 7 and 4. Shared residence with their father.

I work 4 days a week, earn well but I have to travel for work. At the moment I travel on the 2 days a week they are with their dad. I buy extra holiday to cover holiday times and use very little childcare.

Life is good. I own my own home and car.

If I go ahead with this, how the hell will I manage work? I have no family to help with another child on the days I have to travel.

And it will be hard financially. Especially during maternity leave (statutory minimum entitlement).

But I can't imagine terminating.

Not really a WWYD. More WTF should I do?

Andcake Thu 05-Sep-13 20:35:40

A tough one- I think you need a long conversation with boyfriend as you aren't on your own here. Financial support isn't everything - my DP is not in a great financial position but it means I work and he does more childcare. Also if you would consider it - there might be savings if you lived together.
Do you ave any idea how he will feel about the pregnancy. Does he have other children?
Good luck

NoNoNoMYDoIt Thu 05-Sep-13 21:34:42

He doesn't live anywhere near me. In fact his home is 350 miles away. I don't really want him to move in. He can't contribute to my household bills because his financial settlement with his ex and paying off their joint debt leaves him nothing to live on. His home is his parents' house. He rents a bedroom about 100 miles from my house for work and work pays for it. He has no disposable income and no chance of saving. He has no outgoings for rent and board as work pays during the week and at the weekend he is usually at mine or at his folks so he can visit his kids who live nearby.

He is fairly sanguine about the whole thing. His kids are grown up and have all left home.

lisylisylou Fri 20-Sep-13 21:39:17

How far gone are you do you think.? I know completely irrational question

littlecrystal Sat 21-Sep-13 07:35:18

Aside from financial and practical aspect, how do you feel about having this child? Would you like another baby if the circumstances were right? What is the prospect with the boyfriend? Will he commit to this child? Everything is doable if you want it (short maternity leave, a good childminder, tax credits).

I have had a termination in the past. It was for the right reasons and I have never regretted it.

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