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More Adultwork....

(38 Posts)
Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 11:41:35

Okay, so this is what has happened to me...

Me and my partner had been together for 2 years and were going through ( what I thought) was a temporary 'glitch'.

I had moved out for all of 2 weeks, but we had spoken and decided to try again.

I moved back in and on the 2nd night he had gone to a mates and I was messing about on the laptop. The history page showed AW.

When I looked in detail, there were screen pages of women that had been searched for in our area and it also showed the emails & bookings page and the feedback page ( there were no details on these screens).

I 'asked' him WTF had he been doing? He was away at the time on work, so initially all done by phone- he said he had no idea what i was talking about. He came home the following day to tell me this....

His initial excuse was that he had bumped in to someone who needed to get in contact with one of the escorts 5 years ago for whom he had helped create a web page on AW. He went on to say that he thought he could search her out for this mate- hence the local search. A total lie of course!

The following day he decided to "tell the truth" and said that he had received a Spam email which had his name in it and when he ("foolishly") clicked on this it took him to the website.

I had already had a search around the AW website and know that you can not get to the email/ bookings page nor the feedback page without being logged in ( also did that under a fictitious name/profile).

He denied that he had registered and has constantly relied on the fact that I can not/ could not provide evidence of a 'log in' page.

I have no idea what his password or nickname might have been, so I can't search any further, but if I ask for 'nickname/password and email verification to be sent and put his email address in then it does acknowledge that his email has been used on the site.

His answer to this is that he used to email the escort who's web page he had compiled and that is why AW have it.

He still denies ( can't recall ) if he ever had to register or had a password.

I asked him for the name of the escort he had helped and he denied, as said " I don't see why you should involve her in this". He used to be on F**kbook with her some years ago, but has not been for several years and so won't even give me her real name.

Does anyone out there think that any of his story is feasible?

I can not move on from this.

Thanks for reading :-(

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 11:44:03

Oh, and also meant to add that when I first put his email in the email verification section it used to say something sent- now it say that " email has been de-activated".

Hassled Sun 11-Aug-13 11:47:33

He's a lying liar. I'm very sorry. Neither of his two stories - the tracking an escort down for a mate or the clicking on a spam email (and which is it? It can't be both) - sounds remotely feasible. Run for the hills.


Branleuse Sun 11-Aug-13 11:54:41

hes lying.

Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 12:29:56

Lying through his teeth hun. Surprised he doesn't have the decency to admit when he's been caught.

Has he done this type of thing before?

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 12:39:38

I've not been aware of anything like this before.... Well actually, yes he did make contact with an old work colleague via P.m on F**kbook and was arranging to take her to lunch without telling me ( & offered to pick her up in my car, which p*ssed me off! Lol)

I have just done some more investigation and can now honestly say that he has had a password and nickname.

When I first put his email address in the ' verification- send me something' bit ( months ago) it just appeared to send something ( don't know what, as like I said, I don't have access to his emails.

I thought I would try his again and it now says " the member with that email has de-activated".

Well I have just de-activated my fictions account... Yep, the same response. The only way to deactivate is to log in in the first place!

Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 14:27:40

I'd personally say that if he persists and still continues to spin his lies, leave him. It's horrible when you spend half of your relationship wondering if he's still at it.

My OH is very much on his last chance after something similar. He knows in no uncertain terms that pregnant or not, I'll throw his arse out if I catch him playing away again.

You will feel better alone of this is the way the relationship is set to continue.

Best of luck. x

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 18:00:24

Thank you all, for your words of wisdom. It gets, harder and harder to keep raising the same issue, but when your instinct and gut reaction is that all is not what it seems, not sure what else to do.

All a bit shit really x

AnyOldFucker Sun 11-Aug-13 18:05:21

So... what are you actually going to do about the fact he is trawling sites for sex ?

You have been together for 2 years and already having a "glitch"

Walk away, love. Put it down to experience, and move on.

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 18:25:44

Call it quits and move on!

I can't get the images of the email/ booking and leave feedback pages out of my head for long enough to believe what he says - no I don't recall seeing the log in page, but that's just a smoke screen from him.

The worst part is the mammoth lying! X

Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 18:30:57

That's because he's a twunt Lacoba

He doesn't deserve you.

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 18:47:01

Lol - Jolleigh. That made me laugh out loud! X

Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 19:14:50

Just think of that whenever you're starting to feel upset wink

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 19:53:45

I will!

Now about to tell him ( he's abroad, so not easy) but need to move on.

Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 20:17:54

Let us know how you get on. Good luck. x

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 21:32:01

Done & dusted! There was a lot of yeah, but, "I don't knows" and much but "I care about you".

Too late! Have spent months trying to sort this- wasted really, but at least I know that i tried and he still came out as a C.U.N.T

Sorry for bad language - lol x

AnyOldFucker Sun 11-Aug-13 21:45:59

Hey, you are impressive

Mummyoftheyear Sun 11-Aug-13 22:07:37

In a word... No.
Seems clear. He us most likely a cheat and a liar. ;(
Sending you hugs.

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 22:16:57

Cheers my dears!

Getting the usual " you don't understand" messages ....Sod that!

I have my moments, but I do know love/ life is not this.

I really, really appreciate the support from here.

AnyOldFucker Sun 11-Aug-13 22:40:26


Jolleigh Sun 11-Aug-13 23:08:29

Well done Lacoba!

And as for the 'you don't understand' may not understand the why of it but you certainly understand what it is he's been doing. Enjoy the grovelling hun, just make sure your guard stays up to the lies he's likely to throw at you to 'explain'. x

Lacoba66 Sun 11-Aug-13 23:38:57

Having ended up In counselling for 5 months, I am prepared.

I know understand that regardless of anything else that was happening between us ( physically was good)

Its not my shit anymore. Life is about choices - this was his!

Big, big thank you for today's support :-) x

ABello Fri 11-Oct-13 09:38:35

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ABello Fri 11-Oct-13 09:40:59

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