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Have a baby now, or risk not being able to?

(42 Posts)
EsmereldaBelle Fri 02-Aug-13 00:07:13

I am 20y/o and diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure. Doctors say one of my ovaries has completely stopped functioning and the other is deteriorating. So my fertility isn't great and likely to get much worse, pretty quick.
DP and I have been together 4 years and we both want children desperately, but my health has put my in a position where we need to decide if it will be now, or risk not being able to in the future.
DP is in a very stable full time managerial position. Finances are also very stable, thanks to generous family over the years.
What would you do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

EsmereldaBelle Mon 02-Sep-13 12:04:25

Thanks Shreddies!! Period due on the 11th, this 2ww stuff doesn't half drag on hmmhmmhmm

InMyShreddies Sun 01-Sep-13 23:42:13

Yay some down and dirty action grin Test the day after your period is due is my advice - don't test before your period is due, it's just not very reliable, so if it's negative you need to test again later anyway, so may as well wait. Best of luck - let us know either way, fingers crossed!

EsmereldaBelle Sun 01-Sep-13 22:32:53

Hi Daley! Thank you so much! Congratulations, November babies are the best (I was one) wink

DaleyBump Sun 01-Sep-13 19:52:23

Sorry, I'm totally rubbish with working out cycles but just wanted to wish you the best of luck flowers I'm 18 and expecting my first in November, I know what you mean about feeling too young to be a mama smile

EsmereldaBelle Sat 31-Aug-13 23:16:58

TTC this month, but a bit unsure on when to test? Cycle is 28 days, ovulated on the 29th (day 15) so am I right in thinking I can test around 10th of September? Thanks guys smile

EsmereldaBelle Wed 28-Aug-13 22:50:18

Hello! I annoyingly decided to start TTC the day after my most fertile day last cycle so having a really long wait to find out if we've had any luck since, seems like forever. Ovulated today and been getting down and dirty most days for a few weeks now (sorry for tmi but these early days are still exciting and fun)
I shall keep y'all up to date with POAS smile

Hope you are all well :D

lagertops Tue 27-Aug-13 23:47:47

OP make sure you post back on this thread when you have success grin

InMyShreddies Fri 16-Aug-13 19:19:39

Yay! Can this be your live POAS thread? wink

imip Fri 16-Aug-13 16:08:29

As a mum who had four dds in her late 30s and doesn't regret the decision, I say have a baby now :-)!

Luckily you know that you have fertility issues. I second the poster who said to speak to a specialist as I would also look to freezing some eggs just in case.

I understand you feel young, you are young! However, you can do all those things you wanted to do when your babies are a little bigger. Surround yourself with family to help you out and good luck!

possum18 Fri 16-Aug-13 16:00:21


EsmereldaBelle Tue 13-Aug-13 14:35:04

Thank you ALL for your kind words and input on my situation.
We have decided to start TTC asap.

Jenny70 - I was going to the doctor for very irregular and painful periods and my doctor discovered via blood work that i had very uneven hormone levels, so went for ultrasound and tests and was diagnosed with POF. Been very hard but keeping our fingers crossed!!!

orangepudding Thu 08-Aug-13 20:03:23

Have a baby now.

I had my first at 23 though I first got pregnant at 20 but had a miscarriage. I have no regrets about having children early.
I am now in my mid 30's and find it hard breaking seeing friends my age going through fertility treatment.

Softywife Thu 08-Aug-13 19:55:56

Another saying go for it! Good luck!

Jenny70 Thu 08-Aug-13 16:26:57

I would speak to a fertility dr - storing embryos might be wise if you want a sibling down the track... or they may have drugs to 'switch on' your ovaries temporarily.

But ivf rates are low for a take home baby, so another definitely saying do it now - but speak to dr about future options for sibling or if you have problems.

How was it discovered, if that's not too personal to ask?

Fairylea Thu 08-Aug-13 16:25:47

I would have the baby now.

I had my first baby in my early 20s and my second in my 30s.

It was much easier in my 20s for a million and one reasons! Although I love both my dc.

At 20 your baby will still be old enough for you to go on and do things when youre 30s.

I wouldn't even hesitate in your situation. I too have fertility problems.

witchofmiddx Thu 08-Aug-13 16:21:53

Never felt the need to respond to a post as urgently as this one. Have your baby/babies right now

solarbright Wed 07-Aug-13 23:47:26

If you want babies, then better early than never. Go for it.

absentmindeddooooodles Wed 07-Aug-13 23:46:59

I had a very unexpected baby at 21. I wouldn't change it for the world! I didn't feel ready, felt I was too young etc, and was not in a stable position. But you grow up bloody fast when you have your own child. It is totally worth it and I'd definatley go for it!

redwellybluewelly Wed 07-Aug-13 23:45:35

Have the baby. A case of if I knew then what I know now

For me it was waiting to find the right partner, I kissed a lot of frogs put it that way but my children have brought me happiness and I'm so pleased I have them both.

BrianTheMole Wed 07-Aug-13 23:43:56


expatinscotland Wed 07-Aug-13 23:41:09

Have the baby.

PearlyWhites Wed 07-Aug-13 23:40:09

I had my first baby at twenty I had much more energy than when I had ds age 34. I would try now op or you may very much regret it.

MortifiedAdams Wed 07-Aug-13 23:37:24

Just think, theyll be 18 and you wont even be forty so perfect to revisit your 20s self with little to no responsobility!! id do it.

sillyily Wed 07-Aug-13 23:33:13

I had ds1 at 18 and definitely felt too young at the time... However, I am now 22, I have two kids, bought 2 houses, in my ultimate dream job that people envy (mwhaha) and am marrying my 'childhood sweetheart' in 4 months :D no stealth boast intended- just showing how age doesn't really mean much if you have the right attitude etc smile u sound like ur v stable which is a lot more than lots of people so go for it! grin

mrsravelstein Wed 07-Aug-13 18:30:51

i would definitely do it.

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