Ex and family at son's graduation(27 Posts)
Its my dss graduation in September. He lives with me in the town where the ceremony will be. We can buy up to 8 tickets. His father (my ex) plans to come with his current wife and his parents (my dss grandparents). The thought of being at the event with those 4 people upsets me terribly. My ex and his parents are hostile to me. His parents find the situation of our divorce embarrassing and deal with it by avoiding me and treating me like something unpleasant when they see me and they sometimes ask people not to invite me to an event if they or their son will be going. My ex had an affair and left me for OW but is with a different woman now. My exs parents are of the opinion that you should work on staying married at all cost but as its their son they just sweep it under the carpet. My exs current wife just agrees with ex in everything. If I go, I can sit anywhere and wont need to sit near them, and our son will be seated separately from guests, but obviously just before and after the ceremony wed all expect to be with my ds taking photos etc. and I can't arrive at the last minute as they have strict rules about timings, so I'd need to be hanging around for at least 45 minutes beforehand.
Im thinking of not going. Id see ds before he leaves for the ceremony, and I could celebrate with him another day. My ds wont care who goes, whether his mum or dad or anyone else. I havent said much to him about it. He is autistic. He doesnt understand how I feel and when Ive sometimes said anything about being reluctant to be near my ex and his wife, he thinks Im being silly. Ive been to an awards event for ds where ex and wife went but it didnt involve spending time together and its the fact that his grandparents will also be there that makes me feel I cant do this 4 hostile people against me. Although we could get tickets for more people, there isnt anyone suitable to invite to be there for me. My parents are long dead. Its so horrible that whilst I do everything to support my ds, I also get put in this kind of situation. Im the one who will be treated like a pariah and have to go off alone afterwards whilst the other 4 go with my ds for a meal. My ex-inlaws wont say anything negative to me, just avoid me. So WWYD?
Has your son made any friends on his course? Their parents/ brothers/ sisters are your allies, particularly if you can offer anyone a lift to/from the station, local knowledge, etc. (being essential to someone will bump up your status, and you will look great sweeping in/away with a mystery man!)
Do any of DS's classmates need extra tickets? Without being a doormat to other awful families, you could get networking a bit, and be the centre of something when your DS inevitably has to bugger off with the outlaws...
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