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is her fiancé in the closet?

(42 Posts)
Loopylala7 Mon 10-Jun-13 19:43:27

I don't have any solid proof to back up my concerns but, I suspect my close friends fiancé is in the closet & wondering whether to say nothing and just hope I am wrong, or to say something when I could be wrong???

My suspicions stem from:

All of his close friends are openly gay, including best man & ushers
He constantly tweets about bands like the pet shop boys
He has no interest in sport what so ever. To me this is particularly alien as I've never come across any boys who haven't followed a single sport before.
He has a very religious family

He is the first serious BF my friend has had, and this engagement has happened quite quickly (we are well into our thirties). Am I unreasonable to think this? What would you do?

Jan49 Fri 14-Jun-13 21:48:14

Loopy, you seriously must be if you think not liking sport and liking the Pet Shop Boys suggests a man is gay. You need to look at your own attitudes and stop worrying about your friend's fiancé.

If this man was getting married to please his family and unable to admit to being gay because of their religion, he probably wouldn't surround himself with openly gay friends at the wedding which is taking place to please them.

Calabria Tue 11-Jun-13 12:25:19

I sometimes tease my husband that he is gay.

Best friend (who was his best man) is gay - check
Pet Shop Boys - check
No interest in sport - check
Has a religious family - check

He also likes musicals, dislikes getting his hands dirty and enjoys pottering in the kitchen.

But I can guarantee he is not gay wink

Sunnywithshowers Tue 11-Jun-13 12:17:04

I was incredulous and amused... my XH was as camp as a Scout jamboree. Yet he's married again and is about to become a father.

Tee2072 Tue 11-Jun-13 10:05:39

I'm not offended, personally. I am however incredulous that any modern human being would post this!

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 10-Jun-13 23:42:05

I found it funny rather than offensive (well except for the Pet Shop Boys, they were an offense to music)

Loopylala7 Mon 10-Jun-13 22:25:49

Blimey, sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone. As for the religious comment, I only meant it as in it would be very hard to come out if your parents have very conservative religious views, nothing else.

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 10-Jun-13 20:39:41

sorry just saw K8's "quite thin and likes books" rofl!

DressageCriminal Mon 10-Jun-13 20:39:13

I'm more concerned that you are well into your thirties and can have these views.

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 10-Jun-13 20:36:29

seriously "not interested in sport" are you having a laugh, not a single man in my family is interested in sport

Although I would dump him personally for liking the Pet Shop Boys, they are crap he obviously has something wrong with his ear drums.

Most of his friends being gay would make me wonder but maybe he works in a field where there are lots of gay people?

LunaticFringe Mon 10-Jun-13 20:31:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dear lord hmm

Dp hates sport. And has gay friends. I guess the fact that he likes sex with women is irrelevant, he must be a closet gay.

Nagoo Mon 10-Jun-13 20:21:52

You are being a massive ninny, you have no 'evidence' at all. Also, you think she might have noticed all the same things you have, and yet she might know better than you?

Be happy for your friend, don't try to undermine her relationship.

Chubfuddler Mon 10-Jun-13 20:19:55

Does having a very religious family turn you gay then?

CoffeeandNumbers Mon 10-Jun-13 20:17:15

You sir are a fool, and you can have my first biscuit

Tee2072 Mon 10-Jun-13 20:16:32

What Perseis said.

K8Middleton Mon 10-Jun-13 20:15:06

My mother asked if my new boy friend was gay because he is quite thin and likes books hmm

I married him. He's not gay.

Tweasels Mon 10-Jun-13 20:13:18

Ha ha yes, definitely a gay.

Maybe his parents let him wear pink and play with dolls when he was little and he caught gay.

You should tell your friend your suspicions immediately in case she catches the gay too.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 10-Jun-13 20:11:43


SisterMatic Mon 10-Jun-13 20:10:44

Who cares. It is your friends business not yours anyway

KittyPryde Mon 10-Jun-13 20:09:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Mon 10-Jun-13 20:07:55


Two words for you. David Walliams.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Mon 10-Jun-13 20:07:44

Acceptable evidence that a man is gay, if not out: you have seen them have sex with a man.


Wise words.

Gruntfuttocks Mon 10-Jun-13 20:04:52

Maybe you're right, maybe he IS gay, maybe it's none of your business and they have their reasons for being together. If you value your friendship, keep your mouth shut and wait and see what happens.

MrsWembley Mon 10-Jun-13 20:04:10

Can I just say, hmm?

And I think I may be about to... yes, I can feel it coming...


Perseis Mon 10-Jun-13 20:03:01

Acceptable evidence that a man is gay, if not out: you have seen them have sex with a man.

Everything else is just stereotypes.

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