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Should my FIL get a look in?

(4 Posts)
louee93 Tue 28-May-13 01:51:56

Hi all, a bit of background info-

I'm nearly 4 months pregnant with my first child, so this may seem like a premature worry, but I can't help but be concerned about how involved my DP's father should be in our DC's life as a grandfather.
When told the news that we were expecting a little one, his only reaction was 'Oh well, that's life,' despite everyone else being overjoyed for us. He hasn't exactly been an attentive father to my OH either, always making empty promises and leaving when he was a teen to shack up with his current partner, who by the way, is a complete witch who I wouldn't trust with a box of dead rats. She has a restraining order against her, and has sent my MIL and OH's sister threatening messages, saying she will 'throw bricks through their window,' bearing in mind his sister was a child at the time.

Despite my opinion of her, and his terrible track record of reliability, is there any reason he should be involved? I don't want my child to be let down or broken-hearted in any way, but I don't want to seem harsh if he asks to take the child out for the day. OH isn't sure either.

NatashaBee Tue 28-May-13 01:57:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BOF Tue 28-May-13 02:00:36

I wouldn't worry- it's not like you are obliged to let anyone have time alone with your baby.

louee93 Tue 28-May-13 02:09:41

True NatashaBee, i know he wont exactly be rolling out the red carpet for the little one, but I don't want my child to have a half-arsed grandad. I had one set of grandparents growing up, and they gave me all the love and time a child could hope for. I kind of feel like 'If you want to just pick and choose when you are a part of our lives, you don't get to be in it at all.' My MIL is lovely and cannot be involved enough.

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