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In this situation

(18 Posts)
SummersComing1111 Wed 22-May-13 12:57:52

What would you do if you DD called you crying saying she has had a letter and her ex is going to put in an issue to court over contact, saying she is having a break down but your friend who haven't seen in years because you dropped her for a man was around,

Would you wait till said friend goes or rush to be with DD and say sorry to friend and call rain check?

WhyIRayLiotta Wed 22-May-13 12:59:10

A friend would understand that your DD needs you.

LeoTheLateBloomer Wed 22-May-13 13:01:25

I'm assuming you were the friend visiting someone whose DD was having problems?

I'd ask the friend to reschedule.

twooter Wed 22-May-13 13:04:03

I'm not sure. If it was a valued friend, who you want to make things up with, then I would maybe wait until friend has gone. I don't think it's clear cut as to what would be right to be honest.

TheFallenNinja Wed 22-May-13 14:32:03

Bloods thicker.....

Hashtagwhatever Wed 22-May-13 14:34:56

My dd all day every day

TheSurgeonsMate Wed 22-May-13 14:44:12

Key phrase is "saying she is having a breakdown." That means go to dd, to be on the safe side. Otherwise, I think I could do both, finish up fried and then do dd.

SummersComing1111 Wed 22-May-13 17:35:10

No im daughter and feeling quite neglected

LeoTheLateBloomer Wed 22-May-13 19:52:10

I'm sorry sad

TheFallenNinja Wed 22-May-13 19:57:25

You seem pretty mad at her. Is that generally?

SummersComing1111 Wed 22-May-13 22:11:25

I am mad she is my only support and turned up 5 hours later saying what do i expect her to do...

twooter Wed 22-May-13 23:39:57

Don't blame her for being your only support - it doesn't mean she has to be at your beck and call.

SummersComing1111 Thu 23-May-13 07:44:38

I dont expect her to be at my back and call, i never ask her for help with anything but this made me very scared and i didnt know what on earth i was ment to do with it, i have hardly no money and my sons dad is a monster, i was just asking for someone to give me a hug and tell me it will be ok!

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 23-May-13 10:43:48

No, I wouldn't drop everything rush to my adult child over something about which I couldn't immediately help, but I would go over when I'd seen my friend. I would expect my adult child to understand that.

twooter Thu 23-May-13 13:42:07

Be thankful she turned up. She probably feels guilty enough about not coming earlier, but she probably also feels guilty enough about mistreating her friend all those years ago. She's in a no win situation, so cut her some slack.

UC Thu 23-May-13 13:54:07

In the situation you describe, I would explain to friend and go to DD.

Are you nearby to your mum?

My mum came immediately to me when my exH left me very suddenly, even though it was quite late at night and she lives 3 hours away. She arrived v early hours of the morning. As did my DBro.

SummersComing1111 Thu 23-May-13 15:21:08

Yes very close, my point in this matter is she will not see this friend for about another 3 years they are not close and i was hurt because i called her crying and she said well theres nothing i can do, our realtionship is abit back to front im usally mum , i go to her at a drop of hat at any given time because i love her and want her to be happy i even dropped out of college when she was depressed because she didnt want to be alone, im always there for here and will be again and again because she is my mum and i want her happy but then the one time i need support ( apparently im the strong one) she wasnt there and i felt very alone

TheFallenNinja Fri 24-May-13 07:24:16

Reasonably I would only drop and run to my grown up kids if they could smell smoke or were in some kind of real and immediate danger.

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