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Relocation mightn't have been a good idea...WWYD?

(3 Posts)
NotSureOfAnything Sun 12-May-13 19:00:45

DH is from Devon and I'm from Ireland. We've lived in the UK for 12 years, but recently (Christmas) moved back to Ireland to be closer to my family. Previous to that we lived in London (left as no family support/networks there) and in Devon (closeish to his parents). DH works in London and, until now has been able to work 3 days in office, 2 days at home. DH's parents helped us with DC, but we both felt they lacked general empathy towards us and seemed to semi-resent 'having' to help out. In general we didn't feel very happy there family-wise, although we absolutely loved DC's nursery/school.

Since we've moved back to Ireland, DH's work have said that he must work 5 days in office (can't WFH in another country - some tax/pension liability), so I'm now a single parent 5/7 - we've another baby on the way too! We are living with my parents which has pros and cons. They help out with DC massively, but gosh, are they opinionated about all aspects of our future living arrangements/finances/schooling decisions etc. Moving out isn't currently an option as 1) there are virtually no rental properties in this/anyway nearby areas and 2) banks won't entertain lending to us as they are exceptionally choosy at present.

Having been back in my local community (which I grew up in), we can see now that the place has changed hugely. We have little in common with people around - not meaning to sound at all snobbish, just different cultural tastes/parenting styles etc. The local primary schools are chock-a-block and massively under-resourced. There are few opportunities for children that are less than an hour's drive away, BUT we have lots of support from my parents and a big extended family.

I know it would break my parents' hearts if we moved back to the UK again, particularly after 'getting their hopes up' by moving back, but I'm really starting to wonder if we have an option. DH's work is quite specialised, so slim chance of him getting a job in Ireland. We were happy for him to work in London 3 days, but 5 days seems a long time to be away.

Does anyone have a bright idea about our situation? Anything you could suggest that we mightn't have thought of? WWYD?

DingbatsFur Sat 18-May-13 23:14:41

Could you move North? Closeish proximity (maybe... But the new motorways help), easier maybe for your husband's company to stomach in terms of wfh & simple commute to London from Belfast airports. Worth a thought, might give you the best of both worlds. Good schools in NI too & the NHS.

ChippyMinton Sat 18-May-13 23:25:56

Get some professional advice on the tax/pension liability situation. I don't know anything about such things, but is there any way it could be a ruse or excuse to prevent your DH WFH for some other reason, eg they aren't comfortable with him commuting such a distance?

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