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(15 Posts)
Kafri Sun 12-May-13 16:52:10

Guess this is more a WdidYD?

Just wondering what all you mums and dads did when it came to going back to work?

I cannot return part time to my current role so am looking around for something else. Once I have sorted the job side of things, I need to look at the childcare side of things.

I know that different people will have chosen based on their own circumstances and all options are viable but what were your reasons for choosing the one you did. Just hoping it will help to point me in the best direction for my circumstances.


aldeburgh Sun 12-May-13 19:08:51

I took a career break for dd1 and dd2 will go with mil when i return part time next year but if i didn't have that option i would choose a nanny.
My sil is a nanny for a family and the children have bonded so well with her and they feel safe and secure in their home environment with devoted attention that is not possible with nursery or childminder (unless the cm only has your child) ... If you can afford and find a recommended nanny that would be my choice. Good luck smile

Kafri Sun 12-May-13 19:30:59

it's such a minefield. My dm was going to help out with him but she passed away suddenly a few weeks ago so that is clearly not an option now.

So, now I have the weight of the world on my shoulders with work refusing to let me return part time, having to find a new job, worrying about not finding a job in time and therefore having no income once maternity ends, not feeling at all comfortable with putting ds in any sort of childcare so young but not having a choice i know, i know, plenty of people have no choice but doesn't make it easy and somewhere in the middle trying to deal with the death of my dear mum both emotionally and all the practicalities.

Kafri Sun 12-May-13 19:32:18

Oh, and MIL has made it clear that she isn't up for helping out in any sort of way due to the commitment it means. She's happy to babysit on an ad hoc basis but not as a regular arrangement which I can't complain about as it's up to her at the end of the day.

aldeburgh Sun 12-May-13 19:44:15

Oh how awful. What a lot to contend with. Be kind to yourself.
I wasn't saying no to cm or nursery just what i would do if faced with these options.
If nursery is your only option then find the best one available.
So sorry about your mum. I can't imagine

aldeburgh Sun 12-May-13 19:45:20

How hard it must be. Shame your mil not keen to help. But as you say her choice.

aldeburgh Sun 12-May-13 19:46:22

How old is your ds?

Kafri Sun 12-May-13 20:14:17

he'll be just over 7 months when i finish Mat leave (end of July). Im hoping I can find another job on a school which will mean I only have to go back when the kids start back in September so 8months. dreading the summer hols when I will have no income, but schools is all I know.

I'm not cross with MIL or anything, I fully accept it's her choice. We have to book into her diary to see her let alone her wanting to commit to helping out regularly, lol.

I don't feel old enough to not have any parents - my DF passed away when I was a child - i'm not sure how old is old enough to lose both parents but 29 certainly isn't.

i'm not sure we would be able to afford a nanny, can you even have them part time??
As for CM/Nursery - I like the idea of a CM and it being a 'smaller' but I don't see how one person can give (however many kids they have at once) enough attention. While nursery would be bigger but have more staff on hand.

Then, don't get me started on the abuse side of things. I work with vulnerable kids and we have it drilled in to us that abuse is rife amongst groups of vulnerable people - People with disabilities, the elderly, children too young to speak out etc.... Well, at 7/8 month, DS will fall into that category and while I know there are plenty of good childcare settings, i've seen what can happen... enough said there!

My whole situation is causing a lot of sleepless nights right now!

aldeburgh Mon 13-May-13 03:24:56

I guess it depends on the nanny but i guess some of them want to work part time too... They are expensive though. A couple of friends of mine have used childminders and have spoken highly of that option. In the persons home with a small number of children. Worth looking into as although nursery has more staff i just think a smaller setting might be easier for one so young. Look for a cm that take less children than they officially can?

I will be looking to get a job in a school when i go back because my dd1 starts in Sept and i just think it will be so much easier. Stick with what you know if you can. Have you put your cv in with any schools with a letter rather than wait for a job to come up. Make yourself known to them.
Goodness... 29 is rough to be without both parents. It really is. So do take plenty of time to grieve. Properly. Take care and do try to sleep (she says sitting up holding dd2) as it is so very important.

aldeburgh Mon 13-May-13 03:26:43

Oh and of course abuse does happen but i generally think it is best to safeguard but try not to let the thought of it consume you.

rainbowslollipops Fri 17-May-13 17:50:25

Mix of school, childminder and godmother.

MadameJosephine Sun 26-May-13 10:29:43

I'll be going back to work full time when DD is 10 months old. DP is self employed and his income is erratic so can't afford to go part time. It does mean that he can pick and choose his days off though so he can have DD 2 days a week, I'll have her in my days off and I've just found a lovely childminder who will be looking after her 3 days a week. It means we won't have many days off together but at least she'll be with her parents the majority of the time.

NomDeClavier Sun 26-May-13 10:41:50

Nanny then nursery/au pair combination.

It really depends a lot on the availability of childcare, though. You may find your choices are limited by the days you want and if you're looking for a new job you need lots of flexibility. Nurseries and CMs often have less space for under ones too. We were restricted partially by hours.

Overall I felt that at such a young age DS was better in his own home, I could control what went on a lot more easily (what he ate/activities etc) and I felt safer having hand picked someone to look after him in a way I couldn't in a nursery.

chelsbells Sun 26-May-13 10:53:46

I worked as a private nanny - part time - while in Uni and loved it. Gives the child a relaxed environment, they still get to be in their home, not shipped out to nursery at 7.30 every morning and they get 1 on 1 care all day. Most nannies have other nanny friends which means the child is still getting social skills, and she should be keen to take them to groups to meet other children. People think they're more expensive but you can negotiate hours, only have them for term time etc to reduce.
But saying all that.. I now work in a nursery and for the slightly older ones it is a lovely atmosphere for them, playing with lots of other children all day, also means there isn't such a shock when they approach school and have to be with lots of other children without their parent/nanny.
I know when we have babies (TTC#1) I'll be looking for a nanny to begin with and by about 2yrs I'll be looking to put them in a nursery! Hope you find the perfect childcare to suit! smile

helterskelter99 Sun 26-May-13 11:09:22

Howuch do you earn is unfortunately the deciding factor I want a nanny or childminder I think but where we live both are coming out at more expensive than nurseries so I think he will prob end up at nursery

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