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Advice on the neighbours children please!?

(8 Posts)
BeccaRe Tue 07-May-13 10:22:07

I used to be a childminder and used to mind 2 of the school aged children from the garden that backs on to ours. They were only contracted for afterschool so when I said I had no space for them all through the summer holiday it was within reason. This didn't go down too well and we ended up falling out so to speak. This was 3 years ago and I no longer childmind.
However since then, usually in the summer when the weather is nice the 9 year old boy persistantly throws things over the fence, balls (lots) frisby's, there has been known to be a flip flop! Throwing them back only allowed him to throw them back again so last summer I kept them all. When his mum came round to ask why and I explained there was a row on the doorstep, she told me it was accidental and I couldn't keep them. I gave them back. With the weather being nice this weekend it's started again and I now have a collection of toys in the garden, as he has his mums backing I can't see it stopping and I really don't know what my rights are or what to do? I honestly don't have a problem with throwing a ball back every so often as it will i'm sure accidently come over from time to's the rest?! Please help!

TeenAndTween Tue 07-May-13 14:48:57

I would be tempted to put them on my front doorstep or somewhere similar where they can be collected without disturbing you. Tell neighbour you will keep things for a week from the time you put things out, and then throw out as abandoned. There is no way a child throws things over a fence accidentally or on purpose without knowing that's where they've gone.

(Or make a small hole in fence so child can come through to collect).

The onus is on them to come and collect, not on you to always throw back. (Though of course if it was only occasional that would be the nice thing to do).

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Wed 08-May-13 13:16:38

Dont throw them back but keep them so she has to collect them. Dont make a fuss when she does but she might stop him doing it if she has to come round and ask for them every time.

GladbagsGold Wed 08-May-13 13:22:23

I'd say if they want stuff back they need to knock on your door and ask nicely, then go and get the stuff from your garden. And I would only answer the door when convenient, not more than once every day or two.

ArthurSixpence Wed 08-May-13 14:35:46

I'd tell him that as long as you weren't in the garden and it was before, say, 7pm, he could just come quietly and get them himself without asking. Makes it a non-issue then - there is no mileage in trying to play you and his mum off against each other, and you don't have to worry about getting the things back.

I used to regularly put balls into my neighbours garden when I was a kid - not deliberately. You couldn't get into his garden without going through his house, which was awkward plus I didn't like his dog, so he used to just chuck them back as he found them. Worked quite well.

starfishmummy Wed 08-May-13 14:40:22

I don't think you can keep or dispose of them. But they should ask for them.

ATrust Thu 09-May-13 11:07:48

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NomadicSneer Thu 09-May-13 11:11:09

God this sounds like an awful sitch!

Why not keep a diary of the items over the summer months - but make a point of returning them. Then in 6 mohts time you can take the diary to the husband (as the wife is so unreasonable) and demand he look at every page to let him know what you've been through,.

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