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I know how you all like a friendship-angst situation, so come and give me your opinions (longish, sorry, will make as brief as possible)

(7 Posts)
Mintyy Thu 02-May-13 22:37:35

Right, I have two friends, A and B. We all met a very long time ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Friend A and I are best friends, I suppose. We are close, live near to each other and see a lot of each other and always have done.

Friend B is a mutual friend we have kept in touch with over the years and occasionally see, all three of us together, or separately.

Anyway, last year Friend B did something which really upset Friend A. I was there when it happened and I fully understand why Friend A was upset. However, Friend B definitely was not being unkind or malicious and absolutely did not mean to upset Friend A. It was a sort of misunderstanding (albeit a big one) but no malice whatsoever was intended by Friend B.

Anyways, I am in touch with Friend B via facebook social media, but Friend A is not. She doesn't do it.

So, one year on and I was in a fb convo with Friend B and he mentioned how distraught he was to have upset Friend A and how they haven't been in touch since! (A whole year!!). I knew relations were frosty but didn't realise it had been a whole year since they had spoken. He felt very very bad and realised he had committed a big faux pas which caused the ill-feeling.

I told him I was seeing Friend A the next night and did he want me to say anything to her? He said ok. I said I fervently hoped they could be friends again and he should definitely make the first move.

Meanwhile, saw friend A the next night. Subject of Friend B came up (not by me) and she said she still felt hurt and was even more hurt that he didn't contact her immediately after the big faux pas happened to apologise. I just listened and let her speak and didn't say I'd had an online chat with Friend B about it the night before. I don't really know why ... perhaps because she might have felt betrayed that I was discussing her with Friend B?

This was a few weeks ago.

Tonight I have had a text from Friend A, pleased as punch because B has sent her a long and lovely letter apologising and they are going out for a drink next week to discuss and hopefully put it behind them.



I get to the point

Friend A said in her text "I don't know if you had anything to do with it?"

I replied "No, good luck"

but I did have a bit to do with it because I discussed it with Friend B (but I don't want her knowing that).

So, do I now contact Friend B and say I have heard you sent a letter to Friend A, well done, hope you have a lovely evening with her, by the way I told her I wasn't at all involved so can you go along with that ...


or not?

I have basically lied twice to Friend A. Feeling a bit bad now.

If you have read this far you deserve a medal or some thanks

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 02-May-13 22:40:13

I'd leave it. As long as you didn't labour the point with A about not having been involved, if it comes out you can do a wink and say you are glad it worked out.

MissSusan Thu 02-May-13 22:42:05

Yes, but its a good lie isn't it, its not for your personal gain.

TBH yes I would probably say to B not to say anything, but I would feel a bit anxious about it just incase it got out and blew up again.
sorry, that's not very helpful is it.

pictish Thu 02-May-13 22:46:50

You stay well out of it entirely and say nothing.
You have done nothing wrong there is nothing to confess. You are friends with both in your own right.

You offered to interfere, but you actually didn't.

Just be glad they are making up, and smiles all round. xx

Mintyy Thu 02-May-13 23:00:49

Eeeek, ok. Just feel slightly worried Friend A will realise have been discussing her behind her back with Friend B.

pictish Thu 02-May-13 23:06:22

Does she really believe or expect that the frosty situation had not been discussed? Of course not.

You are friends with A and you are friends with B. Both A and B will confide in you the things that are on their mind. As we all do with our friends.
Chill out. It's all cool.

Mintyy Fri 03-May-13 10:46:53

Ok, thanks, if you say so. I hope they can put it all behind them.

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