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An affair

(40 Posts)
Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:15:05

Would you want to know if your other half had an affair?

currentlyconfuseddotcom Sat 11-May-13 23:02:24

Oops this is an old one, isn't it...?

currentlyconfuseddotcom Sat 11-May-13 22:47:01

You should probably tell her - she might feel like she's going mad at the moment

Shutupanddrive Fri 10-May-13 16:24:07

Agree that you should tell her

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 28-Apr-13 21:56:39

If I didn't want to know I would not go looking for answers. This wife is asking you. Be honest.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Sun 28-Apr-13 21:13:49

The wife has asked you, and requested an honest answer.

So it doesn't matter a flying fuck whether any of us would want to know. She does.

soundevenfruity Sun 28-Apr-13 21:06:21

No, I wouldn't want to know.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 28-Apr-13 20:58:55

Yes, tell her.
I was the gf of a serial cheater and 'everyone' knew about it. I was so hurt that people didn't tell me, even some friends.

I finally figured it out myself, but I wasted nearly two years on him.

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 20:55:45

Are the 'friends' her friends too?

I'm guessing it was a fairly long-standing affair! When did it end?

Chubfuddler Sun 28-Apr-13 20:54:55

Nobody wants to know their husband is having an affair.

They deserve to know the truth though.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:53:02

I don't care about protecting him. He doesn't deserve that. She seems so lovely that I'm finding it incredibly difficult to tell her.

AlfalfaMum Sun 28-Apr-13 20:51:11

His betrayed wife obviously does want to know, having gone to all that trouble to find your email address etc. She deserves the truth.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:49:12

The affair naturally came to an end due to circumstances.

Hassled Sun 28-Apr-13 20:47:15

I'm glad you do realise you need to tell her - but don't waste time trying to psyche yourself up; you'll never feel ready. You just have to get on with it.

BabylonReturns Sun 28-Apr-13 20:44:06

You should tell her yes.

I don't particularly think you should expect abuse on here either, you're not married, and whether you knew he was or not, is not the point.

Many moons ago, I unwittingly became the OW. I engaged in a relationship with a man I had no idea was married. He used to come and stay at my flat 2/3 nights a week, we spent most weekends together and I never had an inkling at all.

When I found out he was married I ended it immediately. Months later she contacted me at the pub I worked at and asked me if I'd slept with her husband. I denied it thinking it was best to protect him, but then I figured he'd lied to me, he'd lied to her, and he would do it again.

I called her and told her everything. Now as far as I know they are still together and have since had a DC, but that is their choice. At least I know she knows the truth.

AnyFucker Sun 28-Apr-13 20:40:55

He dumped you then ?

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:40:22

I would rather pour hot wax on my face than go near him again

AnyFucker Sun 28-Apr-13 20:39:41

Are you still fucking her husband ?

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:38:55

Because they were his friends first.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Sun 28-Apr-13 20:38:53

Tell her. Don't be a coward.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:38:09

I know I should tell her and I'm psyching myself up to do it shortly; hence my post. I hope to god she hasn't apologised to him

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 20:36:41

Why are you concerned about losing your friends? Are they involved somehow?

penguinplease Sun 28-Apr-13 20:35:39

I agree she already knows, this is what I did. I do hope you are not the same woman!

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 20:35:21

If she asked, she wants to know. You should have told her. You still should now.

Email her, call her or text her and let her know. You owe her that much at least. She will be thinking she is going mad, looking for things that she now thinks aren't there, she probably even apologised to her husband for doubting him.

If there is a fall out then so be it, that should have been thought about first, at least this way she won't unknowingly waste the next however many years if her life on the tosser.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:33:58

No, I've never met her. She found me through mutual friends and emailed me.

No, I'm not married.

And yes, i do expect abuse on here for it.

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