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An affair

(40 Posts)
Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:15:05

Would you want to know if your other half had an affair?

AnyFucker Sun 28-Apr-13 20:40:55

He dumped you then ?

BabylonReturns Sun 28-Apr-13 20:44:06

You should tell her yes.

I don't particularly think you should expect abuse on here either, you're not married, and whether you knew he was or not, is not the point.

Many moons ago, I unwittingly became the OW. I engaged in a relationship with a man I had no idea was married. He used to come and stay at my flat 2/3 nights a week, we spent most weekends together and I never had an inkling at all.

When I found out he was married I ended it immediately. Months later she contacted me at the pub I worked at and asked me if I'd slept with her husband. I denied it thinking it was best to protect him, but then I figured he'd lied to me, he'd lied to her, and he would do it again.

I called her and told her everything. Now as far as I know they are still together and have since had a DC, but that is their choice. At least I know she knows the truth.

Hassled Sun 28-Apr-13 20:47:15

I'm glad you do realise you need to tell her - but don't waste time trying to psyche yourself up; you'll never feel ready. You just have to get on with it.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:49:12

The affair naturally came to an end due to circumstances.

AlfalfaMum Sun 28-Apr-13 20:51:11

His betrayed wife obviously does want to know, having gone to all that trouble to find your email address etc. She deserves the truth.

Mistykit Sun 28-Apr-13 20:53:02

I don't care about protecting him. He doesn't deserve that. She seems so lovely that I'm finding it incredibly difficult to tell her.

Chubfuddler Sun 28-Apr-13 20:54:55

Nobody wants to know their husband is having an affair.

They deserve to know the truth though.

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 20:55:45

Are the 'friends' her friends too?

I'm guessing it was a fairly long-standing affair! When did it end?

GirlOutNumbered Sun 28-Apr-13 20:58:55

Yes, tell her.
I was the gf of a serial cheater and 'everyone' knew about it. I was so hurt that people didn't tell me, even some friends.

I finally figured it out myself, but I wasted nearly two years on him.

soundevenfruity Sun 28-Apr-13 21:06:21

No, I wouldn't want to know.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Sun 28-Apr-13 21:13:49

The wife has asked you, and requested an honest answer.

So it doesn't matter a flying fuck whether any of us would want to know. She does.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 28-Apr-13 21:56:39

If I didn't want to know I would not go looking for answers. This wife is asking you. Be honest.

Shutupanddrive Fri 10-May-13 16:24:07

Agree that you should tell her

currentlyconfuseddotcom Sat 11-May-13 22:47:01

You should probably tell her - she might feel like she's going mad at the moment

currentlyconfuseddotcom Sat 11-May-13 23:02:24

Oops this is an old one, isn't it...?

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