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Please help... One child is it enough or could two children brake an a relationship

(3 Posts)
Cine Sun 21-Apr-13 15:31:34

Hi. I'm a little bit if a worrier. I have a daughter who is nearly three and a lovely hubby.
When my daughter was born I felt so depressed as I had no family or friends near by and my hubby works fairly longggg hours. I'm not sure I had the best three months of her life as she slept on me as would just cry for ages if not sleeping on me.... Lets just say it was tough.
About 18 months later I lost most of the baby weight that I put in.
Now my hubby and child would like another baby. Dd is due to start nursery in sept and can not wait to get back into work.
I love my dd so much but feel that U can give her the best life.... But also worried about her being an only child.
We live in a rented two bed house and feel that if we had another child we would struggle but if she is an only child ? What would happen to her if we both passed away and mine and I'm kinda paranoid that we if had another child ( like so many of my friends have) it could spoil the mix and our relationship ... Sorry so stressed about this but could do with some kind words and help??? Pls help and take it easy with me as I'm new.

HorryIsUpduffed Sun 21-Apr-13 15:47:39

Your worries sound very normal to me. Everyone worries about the impact of a sibling on their PFB's life, and how there could possibly be enough love to go round.

Well, it grows exponentially somehow. The relationship between my children is a wonderful, beautiful thing that I could never have anticipated.

I am not that close to my brother but when I was younger and still now it was useful to have someone who completely understood when I needed to rant about my parents, without needing to feel disloyal or petty.

Children can have strong relationships with friends or cousins, but we grew up so far from any family that it really was Just Us a lot of the time.

Notsoyummymummy1 Mon 06-May-13 22:47:32

Try not to stress over this too much. You say it's what your husband wants but you don't mention your own feelings - this is what is causing your anxiety - you are pushing your own feelings aside and thinking about others instead. Your feelings are the most important because it is you who has to carry the baby, give birth to the baby and do the majority of looking after the baby so it has to be something you feel ready for and comfortable with and if you had a difficult time the first time round it's understandable to feel apprehensive. Everyone will have an opinion on why you should or shouldn't have another but you have to be true to yourself and honest about how you feel. The most important things a child needs is to feel loved and cared for - a child's happiness and wellbeing is not dependent on whether he/she has a sibling or not. I know three only children and they are all very confident and well balanced with none of the insecurities that come with having a sibling to compete with. I know people who are very close to their siblings and others who hate theirs - you can't predict it. If you're not sure how you feel - imagine you are holding a positive pregnancy test and see what your instant feeling is. Have the courage to do what is right for you as your child needs a happy mummy more than she needs a brother or sister.

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