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in this situation?

(108 Posts)
StealthPolarBear Sun 14-Apr-13 19:40:49

It's my dad's significant birthday in a few weeks. Mum and dad have booked a restaurant near them for a big family party. DH and I went with them a number of years ago, and DH was quite ill afterwards, not been since. We didn't mention it to either them or the restarurant at the time, which I now regret.
DH says he's not going. Parents are a bit irritated. Is there any compromise here?

NigellaLawless Mon 15-Apr-13 18:56:09

If this was my DH I would be mad as hell at him as i would think its incredibley rude and disrespectful to my father. However I certainly wouldn't lie for him. I would simply tell anyone who asked why he's not there. I would make it clear that I don't think the d&v came from the restaurant but that DH is a stubborn fool (
So as not to ruin the.meal for everyone else)

I'm sorry you are so upset about this. Your dad's 60th should be a really happy time! I hope you can put dhs stupidity to one side and enjoy yourself smile

garlicyoni Mon 15-Apr-13 20:34:09

<applauds AnyFucker>

DorisIsWaiting Mon 15-Apr-13 21:16:28

The only thing you need to tell opthers is the TRUTH!

He was ill after coming here YEARS ago, and was being a big baby about coming back. No further comment required.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 15-Apr-13 21:18:06

Does that not invite comment or argument though? I don't want to cover up for him, I just want an answer ti the inevitable questions that doesn't talk about D&V, and doesn't start with me airing my marriage's faults at a celebratory dinner.
Maybe I could say hed been picked by NASA to go into space.

HorryIsUpduffed Mon 15-Apr-13 21:42:17

I don't think so.

"He really doesn't like it here and is being a baby about it, so we came without him." They might think it is an odd situation, but their eyebrow raising will be directed at him, not you.

AnyFucker Mon 15-Apr-13 21:53:14

This is not your marriage's fault, love

It's his fault, and his alone

Haven't you got that yet ? < note to self, must try harder >

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 15-Apr-13 21:55:36

Can he ring your parents and tell them? And ring his parents and tell them?

garlicyoni Mon 15-Apr-13 23:17:07

Stealth, my XH1 used to do this. Not exactly the same (he wouldn't have bothered with the 'traumatised by suspected food poisoning' bit) but was a right prima donna. After a while I stopped giving up my lovely dinners with friends & family on his whim. I just told people I'd be coming by myself and, when they asked what was up with him, said "He says he doesn't want to come. I do, though!"

If anybody wanted to make a thing out of it, I refused to make excuses for him - which he'd have preferred, obv - and told them to ask him themselves if they must, but as far as I was concerned it was sorted.

Sometimes people would say it seemed odd, and try to poke around a bit, but actually it was none of their business. I just made a big, airy joke out of his preciousness smile 'Twas fine.

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