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in your experience....would you have dc no 3?

(17 Posts)
nothingbyhalves Fri 15-Feb-13 20:49:38

we have 3year old dt boys, just started school. I go through phases of wanting another baby, not sure if its pregnancy i crave or another baby, just feel like there is room for another, not sure if i sound like a fool. But..... just wanted to know if anyone out there who went for no.3 would share their thoughts... things like problems with cars, holdays childcare etc etc

lljkk Sat 16-Feb-13 11:08:31

Do you really want to start all over? What if you have twins again?

SquashNutButter Sat 16-Feb-13 11:10:17

I'm interested in getting opinions on this...

chickensarmpit Sat 16-Feb-13 11:13:51

I have 3 kids. 11, 10 and 6. I find having 3 just as easy/hard as having 2.

lljkk Sat 16-Feb-13 11:18:58

Number 3 was my difficult child, the one that has nearly broken us. Number 4 turned out to be easy (thank goodness). Still, I am wistful about what life would have been like if we stopped at 2.

Indith Sat 16-Feb-13 11:19:25

Mine are 6, 4 and 11 months. I LOVE having 3, number 3 brings so much joy and the bigger ones adore him. Everyone will be different. In practical terms it is fine really, we tend to go to self catering places on holiday so won't make much difference to us for that though if you stay in hotels then yes, it will make a difference as family deals/family rooms tend to be for 2+2. We drove down to France and stopped in a hotel on teh way and had to get 2 rooms. Dh went in one with the big 2 and I shared teh other with the baby. Car is fine, 3 seats in the back is a bit dodgy in our car especailly now teh baby is out of the infant carrier but we put ds1 in the front and then when we are all in teh car I sit in the back between teh other 2 seats.

Financially for childcare etc then it is up to you isn't it.

LillethTheCat Sat 16-Feb-13 11:24:58

I have 3. We were umming and Ahhhing about no 3 for a year or so before we said we'd just go for it. What made us do it was that we decided once it was done, it was done and that we wouldn't regret it. If we didn't we'd always be trying to decide if we should or not and one day we might have wished we had gone for no 3.

One thing that I do worry about is now we have 3 and in under no circumstances do we want another ever there is no room for an accident. Though of course if an accident was to occur we'd cope.

Someone did say to me when I was PG with DC2 was that you have one and your life changes, you have 2 and it changes again, but with any more than that and there is no change. He had 4 children.

Having said all that there is no history of multibirths in our family so a multibirth was unlikely. I think its meant to be more likely if there's family history isn't there?

Mrsrobertduvall Sat 16-Feb-13 11:27:21

I would never, ever have had 3. i have two, and ds was born when I was 40.

I found 2 hard enough, and knew that my mental health would suffer, and consequently home life.
Dh had a vasectomy straight away after ds was born.

Dromedary Sat 16-Feb-13 11:28:15

3 can be hard, as often 2 will be good friends, leaving the other one out. It can be a difficult dynamic. In your case almost certainly the little one would be the one to be left out by the other 2, as they are twins.
As you have had twins you are at "risk" of having them next time too. 4 children is where you have more problems over having to change cars, etc.
Obviously there are issues over costs, house size etc, even if you are able to have 3 rather than finding that you have 4. And having to start again with changing nappies, taking time off work, juggling nursery with school.

Mrsrobertduvall Sat 16-Feb-13 11:28:47

Oh and dh's mum had 3 sets of twins within 5 years.....dh is a twin, his dad is a twin.

I love ds2 to bits but he has been an extremely difficult child since the day he was born.

If he'd been my first he would have been an only

nothingbyhalves Sun 17-Feb-13 19:27:20

thanks for the feedback x

Lonelybunny Thu 21-Feb-13 20:55:39

I had my third in August and was terrified I'd done the wrong thing. But she is lovely and my elder two are all over her all the time they dote on her. She has made me and DP calmer and happier people . But we are struggling financially now because I can only go back at reduced hours because the housework / school activities etc its too much to do the hours I had before .

blondiep14 Thu 21-Feb-13 21:02:50

I have 3. 5, 3 and 4 months. I was a bit worried, but so far, so good. We even joke about #4 one day shock!

However, I am a twin, and we have a younger sister.
A three and a half year age gap, and I know she always found it really difficult following us through school etc.

Sinkingfeeling Thu 21-Feb-13 21:07:54

I had number 3 after twins, with 2 years between them. The first year passed in a bit of a blur (newborn + two toddlers - we were just in survival mode really) but after that things were great, and all three of them get on well and play amazing games together. Having one baby after two was very special - and when the dts went to playgroup, I loved having time to bond with just one child.

DewDr0p Thu 21-Feb-13 21:18:40

My 3 are 8, 6 and 5. They are a real little pack - I love it.

We did have to buy a bigger car when dc3 was born but dc1 is nearly out of needing a car seat now so we could have an ordinary car next time.

Sometimes two will play more together than the other but which two it is changes frequently and I don't think anyone feels left out. Often the one on their own has chosen to have some quiet time. More often they all play together.

Some things do cost more with three (school shoes and swimming lessons!! and undoubtedly food, they all have big appetites!) but other stuff doesn't really. I don't think we spend much more on toys for example as they share so much. I prob spend less on clothes than friends with a boy and a girl (mine are all the same sex) Holidays maybe cost a bit more but I think you adapt.

I do know someone who went for a third after twins and said she knew within a couple of months that she felt the need to have a 4th to keep dc3 company. On the other hand a good friend of mine has 3 who are 8 6.5 and 2 and that dynamic works brilliantly for their family - the big 2 absolutely dote on the little one.

Finding out I was pg with dc3 was an utter shock (V small age gap) but he is an absolute joy.

AllDirections Thu 21-Feb-13 21:19:34

Same as lljkk but there hasn't been a fourth DC

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