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PIL are getting older and beginning to need a 'one level' home. DH and I could help...

(34 Posts)
OhTheConfusion Thu 24-Jan-13 15:33:24

Sorry could be long but best to paint a clear picture.

PIL and I are not the best of friends... civil would just about cover it but they are DH's parents and I hate to see him worry.
PIL are now 70 and 68, MIL has problems with arthritus and uses the aid of a stick from time to time. They are both completely fine in other ways.

MIL was telling DH over christmas that it would be much easier on her if they lived in a home with no stairs, they currently live in a two uo two down council house with seven steps leading from the street to the garden. They live in a council house through choice, they both worked and choose to spend their money and stay in a home that had low rent, all repairs dealt with etc.

DH suggested they look into where they would stand with the council re-locating them. MIL said they have friends in that position and the list is 'ENDLESS'.

Last weekend PIL pointed out a property in the local paper 'two bed cottage, needs updating'. The property is about 2 miles from their current home and a few streets away from MIL's brother and his wife. This was just in passing with the phrase 'a great buy for someone' hmm.

I mentioned it to DH, we went and viewed it and it is a decent buy. Would be around £98,000 including legal fees and I think would need another £15,000ish to get it to a decent standard. We could afford this, not with great ease but it is possible.

So.... the point of the post... DH and I had PIL over last night and explained we are considering this (expressed it was very early days and just a consideration), We could just afford it and would take the same rent they currently pay, they would be responsible for all bills and we would cover all repairs, maintenance. MIL responded, that would be great etc...

As we dropped tham home MIL announced... how good, we would have inheritance to leave you boys (DH and his Bro) atlast confused.
DH explained that we would own the house... mil said but we would own together, we are contributing to the mortgage!

Is this going to be mor hassle than it's worth? This house would be MY pension, we can't put into everything!!!

Has anyone else did this, did it cause tension?

OhTheConfusion Mon 28-Jan-13 09:24:02

Morning all, hope everyone had a nice weekend... DH and I spent it dodging calls from PIL!!!

DH and I went to PIL (left DC's with my Dsis) and explained that we feel this has all moved too fast and as we have recently moved ourselves, and are still doing renovations, it would be silly to take on such a huge commitment at this time. We were very clear in saying that as pension entitlements are changing we need to be sure that we have saved enough for our old age and can't afford to share my pension with BIL hmm. MIL was a bit huffy and FIL didn't say much at all sad. I hate that we now feel guilty for saying no to something we should not have been asked in the first place. PIL really do not struggle, they just choose to spend what they have... two weekends away since christmas, new tv in the january sale and out for lunch or a snack most days (I will remove my judgy pants as they are beginning to hurt!).

Soooooo.... DH has arranged for a 'housing assessor' to meet with PIL on Thursday afternoon, the assessor will come out to PIL and discuss their housing needs. DH has offered to take the afternoon off and be there but PIL have yet to say yes or no.
DH also called our solicitor on Friday too and he thought we were mad (a bit like you guys!) to consider this. He pointed out that we do not want to be in a position where we could need to evict PIL if financial circumstances changed or if MIL 'saved her nest egg' instead of paying rent!

Thanks everyone. Im sure there will be more this week but we will stand by our desicion and offer assistance (just not financial).

PureQuintessence Mon 28-Jan-13 10:59:57

Do they realize that had they not been so greedy, and they would have gotten themselves a nice bungalow?

memphis83 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:08:14

My grandparents live in a 3 bed council house. In our area they are desperate for family homes and have offered them a choice of a few bungalows to pick from in area, they also give them a grant of a £1000 to buy new smaller furniture and to decorate when they move. Hopefully something will be set up like this for them too?

OhTheConfusion Mon 28-Jan-13 11:22:07

Sadly you are right PureQ. I can't decide if it is simply greed or PIL need to dictate. I just know we have yet to hear the last of this, they were too quiet when we went round.

Memphis, they are in a 2 bed so perhaps not such a great demand? Just hoping they let DH sit in on the meeting or I fear we could be fed a line of 'nothing they could do'. When DH spoke to the council they said that re-housing shouldn't take too long as the property they are in is so high above street level that it would be non-adaptable so they would be higher up on a transfer list.

DH called BIL this morning as PIL had not contacted us since Friday... BIL said 'yeah, mum said Confused didn't want her pension messed with'. I give up!

PureQuintessence Mon 28-Jan-13 11:30:08

Maybe they just dont understand the maths?

Have you put down the figures on paper for them to see?

98.000 including legal fees + 15000 refurbishments paid by you.
38-42k deposit paid by you. That is already 55k up front.
Mortgage payments worth 7000 annually, 4k paid by you and 3k paid by them

SO, you invest 55k, plus 4 k per year. How can they think it is fair that they let your husband and brother inherit this house? You and your dh would lose 55k plus what you have invested annually. Do they understand this?

PureQuintessence Mon 28-Jan-13 11:31:29

Actually sorry, you would not lose 55k, plus annual investment, you will only get half back and your brother get the other half, minus legal fees related to the probate.

OhTheConfusion Mon 28-Jan-13 12:58:48

I think they do understand, I feel they choose to mis-understand.

I feel we would have possibly lost more than 55k if we paid 4k P/A for 15yrs (only fixed for first 5 so could go up) then we would have put in 115k overall... half of the sale price would never be enough to recoup what we put in and we would not be 'inheriting' anything.


ImperialBlether Sat 16-Feb-13 16:32:21

OP, if you bought a house and let it out to strangers, how much could you get, do you think?

riveroise Wed 20-Feb-13 05:15:06

They could have exercised their right to buy 30 years ago could have paid off a 25 year mortgage.

Stand firm!

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