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WWYD re the way this parent is talking to her child . Should I talk to the school ??

(34 Posts)
Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 15:31:07

I'm sat here at the bus stop in the last 5 minutes I've heard

You're a spastic
You're stupid x5
Don't show me up with your stupidness
He wanted to cuddle her she pulled away
The apple don't fall far from the tree
No wonder noone wants to talk to you you're so stupid
I hate you being my kid sometimes

My daughter was loving the attention this woman was giving her when she hopped on one foot . Her son attempted she and she said " stop doing that youll only fall seeing as you're so stupid "
He is wearing one of those hats with the long ears that act as gloves and because he was clapping with them she's banned him from telly for 2 weeks

Wwyd ??

Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 15:35:03

My daughter has read the numbers on the bus stop and her son tried he unfortunately got the numbers wrong she got right in his face and said even that little girl knows those numbers and she's a year younger than you . How stupid do you feel , don't bother trying you are stupid
I want to take him home sad

CabbageLooking Thu 24-Jan-13 15:37:35

God that's horrible. What can you do though? Do you know them? Could you identify them to a school or social services? If you're braver than me you could try talking to the woman (absolutely no point in challenging her) maybe with something along the lines of "oh dear, you sound like you're having a hard day".

CabbageLooking Thu 24-Jan-13 15:38:38

Or possibly just grab him when the bus comes and leg it. By the sounds of it she wouldn't try hard to stop you. sad

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata Thu 24-Jan-13 15:41:48

I'm sorry, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. Ask her why she's being so cruel? God, if she finds it so easy to abuse in public, just what is she doing to him at home?

Moominsarehippos Thu 24-Jan-13 15:42:33

Is it the mum?

Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 15:43:10

I don't know them it's the first time I've seen them the boy is In the year above by the sounds of it . He has a very distinctive name so I'm sure the school will know who I'm talkIng about . We've just got on the bus and the boy said. " is this our bus and the mum said " well if you know numbers you'd know if it was our bus or not "
They didn't get on it

He desperately wanted to cuddle her and she kept pushing him away saying she didn't want his cuddles

He looked like such a sweet boy sad

Thing is if I'd have tried to strike up a conversation about her having a hard day no doubt it would have been about his "stupidness "

HecateWhoopass Thu 24-Jan-13 15:43:17

poor kid.

Sometimes you just want to grab them and run sad

And I really don't care if she might be stressed/ill/upset/sad/or it's a snapshot of her day and the rest of the time she's baking cakes with him. Before anyone says it.

olympicvibes Thu 24-Jan-13 15:43:18

Oh my God that is awful. I would be tempted to confront her but would prob get a punch in the face!
Can you strike up conversation with her instead? Give poor boy a break. Ask her about him? Poor boy, I wonder what else goes on at home if she is happy to treat him like shit in public.

Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 15:43:50

it's the mum

Charmingbaker Thu 24-Jan-13 15:44:48

If they go to your daughters school, talk to a senior member of staff there. Do you know the child's name, if not your daughter may know whose class he is in. Chances are the school may well know who you are talking about. Once you tell school they have a duty to act on it..

YourHandInMyHand Thu 24-Jan-13 15:46:15

If you know which school the by goes to then speak to the head. If you know his first name, age and which school he goes to call social services yourself and they'll be able to find out the rest of his details. That poor boy. sad

There was a mum shouting at her boy at the bus stop near me and my DS (who has autism and no tact) loudly asked me "mummy why is that lady being shouty and not nice to that boy?" I also wonder how much worse they are at home with them when they can be so openly horrid in public.

Moominsarehippos Thu 24-Jan-13 15:48:14

I would go and speak to the Head and ask what she /he would expect a parent to do who had seen such a thing. Hypothetically.

Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 15:48:24

Ok I'll do that . The mum repeated his name a few times and he's a year above . His name is unusual so the school will know who I mean

I think I will mention it to a senior member of staff like others have said if she's willing to be so vocal in public no doubt he gets the same at home , I've asked my child to be friends with him if she sees him in school

Moominsarehippos Thu 24-Jan-13 16:19:35

Poor wee soul. There is a tipping point where kids like this go from scared/cowed to cold/bully.

CabbageLooking Thu 24-Jan-13 17:11:51

Shinyshoes1 would you report back please? I realise that the school will not be able to tell you what they do but I have to admit this thread has made me sob a little and it'd be nice to know if something is happening.

Shinyshoes1 Thu 24-Jan-13 20:01:14

Yes of course cabbage i'll pop in school in the morning and see what the head or (whomever I get to see ) says

hoodoo12345 Fri 25-Jan-13 15:29:46

Poor little boysad

TotallyEggFlipped Fri 25-Jan-13 15:36:49

This made me so sad and angry

NorthernLurker Fri 25-Jan-13 15:45:32

Sounds pretty abusive to me. How did you get on OP?

Shinyshoes1 Fri 25-Jan-13 16:30:04

I spoke to the Dep head . She's covering for the Head at the mo. she says she's not sure what , if anything , they can do as it happened outside iof school but she will pass on my concerns to the head when she gets back and if I hear nothing then it means they are doing something

Spose I've just got to wait and see now . Her face was giving nothing away

FairyJen Fri 25-Jan-13 16:33:54

Was he wearin uniform? Not sure if law has changed but if a child is in uniform school still have obligation to them wen if outside school hours.

Eg if they were mis behaving in uniform school would expected to deal with this.

Poor little mite sad

Moominsarehippos Fri 25-Jan-13 16:37:52

I suppose its in the schools radar now. If they have a few comments or his teacher raises it, then wont they have to do something? Even on my worst, crappiest, nastiest day I'm nowhere near that horrible.

StripiestSocks Fri 25-Jan-13 16:44:01

I would ring NSPCC for advice tbh, they will know what can be done in this type of instance.

houseelfdobby Fri 25-Jan-13 16:52:31

This is so sad. You must have wanted to hug the little boy. I agree that you were right not to challenge the mum - she could easily have taken out any frustration later on the little mite.

You did the right thing talking to the Dep Head. Surely the school has access to local authority advice and/or some sort of child protection procedure? I sincerely hope the whole "not in school time, not our business" line wasn't a Pontius Pilatesque hand washing. Actually, I can't imagine the Head sitting on that information and doing nothing with it....

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