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DS and DD not invited to family wedding!

(13 Posts)
Yellowturtle Thu 24-Jan-13 14:11:34

We have wedding invite to my DH's brother's wedding. My DS and DD (5 and 14m) are not invited. The wedding is local and I am upset they at least cannot come to the wedding at the registry office and afternoon events. We are happy to get sitter in evening, but can't get one for daytime anyway!

JassyRadlett Thu 24-Jan-13 14:14:31

Why are you upset? They've obviously decided to have a child free wedding, not too unusual and not a personal slight. If you had a newborn you were breastfeeding it would be different but as you say your children are old enough to be left.

Out of interest, why can't you get a babysitter for during the day?

Patchouli Thu 24-Jan-13 14:16:38

DH go and you join him in the evening?

HoratiaWinwood Thu 24-Jan-13 16:10:37

Are other children invited? if they are, are yours "spirited"?

If it is childfree, it is childfree. Get a nice frock and have a nice time. Are the unrelated grandparents available?

MrsBungleBear Thu 24-Jan-13 16:13:31

If you are upset about it, don't go.

Even if my kids are invited to a wedding I usually get a baby sitter I like a drink and a relax

alarkaspree Thu 24-Jan-13 16:18:39

I know people can have whatever kind of wedding they like and it's up to them and everything, but I would have been VERY upset if any of my/dh siblings had had a wedding that was so child-free that my children weren't invited. They wouldn't have though, because my children are their family. Not inviting non-family children is completely different and everybody understands that it's different.

I think it's out of order, and I would be considering not going.

usualsuspect Thu 24-Jan-13 16:22:41

If it's difficult to get child care in the day, just go to the night do.

Your DH can go on his own to the ceremony, just explain why. I wouldn't stress about it, if you can't get childcare and they are having a child free wedding they should expect it to be difficult for some guests to attend.

DawnOfTheDee Thu 24-Jan-13 16:22:47

I would try and get a sitter for the whole day or one of you go during the day then the other join them for the evening do.

Lots of people have child-free weddings....unless yours are the only ones not invited then I wouldn't think to much of it apart from wooohoooo daytime drinking here i come

MarianForrester Fri 25-Jan-13 19:52:16

I think it's weird not to invite family children to the wedding, even if other children are not invited.

If DH was happy to go alone, I would stay at home with children, otherwise we would both miss it, I think.

LtEveDallas Fri 25-Jan-13 19:58:46

Your BIL is entitled to have a child free wedding.

You are entitled to politely decline.

As long as neither party kicks up a fuss, then it shouldn't be an issue. Personally I wouldn't attend a family wedding to which my daughter couldn't attend. All or nothing here.

Bowlersarm Fri 25-Jan-13 20:02:17

Couples attitudes before having children are different to after they have them. They don't realise it would upset you. If it were me I would go child free and have a lovely time, and not upset their big day. Have your PIL's commented?

jenesaispas Fri 25-Jan-13 20:08:46

Just go in the evening then!

Not everyone wants children at their wedding, so if you can't go, you can't go. I wouldn't send DH on his own though - you come as a package now.

My favourite option would be a lovely, child-free day with my DH!

PatsysPyjamas Fri 25-Jan-13 20:28:21

What does your DH think? And your MIL? If it were my brother, I'd be hugely pissed off if he didn't invite his own niece and nephew. I think it's totally different to going to other extended family or friends' weddings without children, which I've done happily. At the same time, there is no way I could contemplate not going to my brother's wedding.

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