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Out of interest - would you have encouraged /praised your dd for this or told them to be careful?

(10 Posts)
lisalisa Tue 04-Dec-12 21:57:13

Today I parked at an M and S garage and my dd aged 11 popped in to buy some fruit we needed. My car was parked right outside the main entrance and it is a fairly small shop.

Dd came out beaming and bursting to tell me how she'd helped a lady . Turns out that the lady had asked her if some foods she was holding were kosher or not and then asked dd to help her choose something that was kosher. Dd noticed she was holding a pork sandwich and told her that , no , that was not kosher. The lady asked her to suggest something that was and dd made some suggestions and the lady ended up going round the shop with her and they ended up chatting about suggestions. Dd eventually ended up suggesting the nearest thing she could which was cadburys chocolates. Apparently the lady wanted a present.

Dd thinks she was with the lady for a good 6 or 7 minutes.

I felt uneasy about this and just reinforced the lessons dd already knows about stranger danger. I think its quite ok to offer a 1 minute opinion/help but 6 or 7 minutes going round a shop is a bit intrusive and close for comfort when it comes to an 11 year old ( lady was about 35 dd thinks so not an old lady).
Also somehting in the story didn't quite ring true as if she was looking for a present ( as she told dd she was ) for a jewish person who keeps kosher why on earth would she think of buying a sandwich? That's hardly a present. And I would imagine most people know that pork is not kosher ( even if they don't know any jewish people most people know that jewish people cannot eat pig) so it is odd that she had a pork sandwich in her hand too.

I suppose what I am finding possibly plausbile is that this woman may possibly - and I really only mean possibly - have had other intentions to talk to dd .

It is a shame and I would have loved to have praised dd for helping someone so wholeheartedly and fully but just felt a bit uneasy at the story. What would you have done?

LaCiccolina Tue 04-Dec-12 22:03:34

Maybe the old lady hadn't talked to anyone for a few days and this provided a nice change? Maybe she's dotty and couldn't pick a banana from a fruit pile? There are many reasons as to why. I think u are right to gently reinforce the lesson but coat in lots of praise. Ur dd could have just made this persons day. It's tricky I thoroughly agree.

lisalisa Tue 04-Dec-12 22:05:21

LaCiccolina - she wasn't old though - dd said about 35 ish

Hattie11 Tue 04-Dec-12 22:09:43

Mental health and loneliness can affect any age.

suebfg Tue 04-Dec-12 22:09:57

It sounds pretty odd to me. Maybe the lady was lonely or batty, who knows? I think it is hard though for kids to distinguish. God, it's hard enough for adults sometimes. And school will be teaching them to be helpful. A difficult one

suebfg Tue 04-Dec-12 22:10:41

Sorry I'm am not very pc am I using the word batty

EmmaNess Tue 04-Dec-12 22:14:57

yy

possibly someone with a learning disability?

cumfy Fri 21-Dec-12 13:52:56

Did DD think a pork sandwich was an odd present ?

Shallishanti Fri 21-Dec-12 14:06:37

a slightly odd interaction but I can think of loads of reasons other than that this woman had bad intentions. If she was a little odd, for whatever reason, all the better for your DD for helping her.
After all your dd is 11 (not 5) and clearly confident and competent, also she was in a shop so plenty of help around if she had been uncomfortable. I think it's very sad if worrying about 'stranger danger' stops us or our children being kind and friendly- it's a danger that should be at the BACKof our minds, not the front, there are far and away more likely threats to our children.
Praise your dd with a full heart!

BeataNoxPotter Fri 21-Dec-12 14:12:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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