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Would you put your dc back a year?

(4 Posts)
MaryShoppins Wed 14-Nov-12 23:40:11

My ds is 3 years old. He he has speech delay, and minor physical delayed development (nothing overly obvious or intrusive). Basically, he looks and acts more like a 2 year old toddler.

My dilemma is, that he is due to start reception next year in September. He is currently on the waiting list for a nursery place, but, realistically, it's not looking likely he'll get a place before September, meaning he'll have to go straight to reception - full time.

I'm uncomfortable with this for several reasons. The fact that he has speech delay, not big deal really, as this is common, and the school are brilliant. I feel confident they will do their best to encourage further development on that part. But, he has physical issues too, including hyper-mobility and short stature (possibly requiring growth hormone injections). Because of his physical and speech delay, I have tried tirelessly to potty train him and failing miserably! If by chance he does get offered a nursery place before September, they will not accept him unless he is fully trained.

A few friends have suggested I ask that he be put back a year. Until now it hadn't crossed my mind. Thinking about it, it seems like a perfect solution (if they agree) because it will give me an extended time frame to potty train him, he will have a few additional months to continue with his speech therapy and 'catch up', I can give him the settling in period if he starts nursery in September, and he will then be one of the oldest children, therefore should feel less inadequate and a confident learner.

But, I don't know anyone who has done this. Are there any draw backs? What criteria does he need to fit to enable him to do this?

Ant help, advice or experience would be appreciated. Thank you!

bigpaws Thu 15-Nov-12 02:21:02

I looked into keeping my DD at preschool for an extra year as she is an August baby and didn't seem ready to start school in the September. I didn't keep her off - she started with the others and the age gap is now closing.
I understand your circumstances are very different. You should check with your local authority too. I thought by keeping a child back like you described would give the child a year advantage over their peers. In fact it doesn't - your child would miss Reception class and start in YR 1. That is how it works here anyway.
I'm sure legally they don't have to be in full time education until they are 5 yrs old. For my child I didn't want to give them a disadvantage of a year delay.
How confident are you in your school? Would the school agree to a 1:1 assistant?
When is he 5?
You are right to be looking at all options.

notfarmingatthemo Thu 15-Nov-12 12:22:41

Be very careful when you look into this as you are basically asking them to fund a extra year of education for your child. You need to check (if they agree) that it goes right through to the end of secondary or you could find that your child may end up transferring to secondary with his age group not the year group he is in. This may have social issues for your child.

jendot Sat 17-Nov-12 19:45:58

We thought about this for ds2 for very simular reasons as yours but it's not that simple as although they don't have to join school until they turn 5 they join the school at the same level as their age peers. So they skip reception.... We decided this would be more of a disadvantage than starting when he wasn't really ready. It has taken until yr 4 for him to reach the same level as his classmates.. But he has got there and dealt with it all admirably.

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