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Quick poll, anonymous egg donation?

(7 Posts)
IHateSecrets Tue 30-Oct-12 14:56:37

I've changed my NN and will deliberately try to keep this brief and monotone. I don't want my posting style recognised.

Our only option to have a child is egg donation. All clinics are anonymous ED. Here's the conflict. We want a baby very much. We don't have any problems with a child not being my biological child. It would be our baby. The problem is we would never be able to offer that child a full genetic background. I'm struggling with this. I think every person has a right to know who they are and their genetic history.

We don't want to ask anybody we know and can't ask a stranger so the only option is anonymous donation.

What if the baby grows up and hates that they have to live life not knowing who they are? This is the only thing that's stopping us.

WWYD? Go with it and hope your child understood or forget about it if you couldn't find a donor clinic where your child could find out about the donor when they pass 18?

IHateSecrets Tue 30-Oct-12 16:14:08


amistillsexy Tue 30-Oct-12 16:29:11

To be honest, IHateSecrets, I'm 43, and have very litle idea of my genetic history, despite being born to my biological parents. They just were never the type to share that sort of info, if you see what I mean, and now they're mostly all dead, but I'm not sure what of (apart from some, who died when I was an adult). My DH's family are even more of a mystery, so we have very little to tell our own DCs.

What I do know, is that I've given them the best start in life I can, with a good diet and as 'natural' a lifestyle as I can.

I've also made sure that they are loved and cared for, and that they have as happy a life as I can make it.

I suppose what I'm clumsily trying to say is that we none of us know what lies in store for us in life, and we have to roll with the punches to some extent. We can protect ourselves from some things, but others are out of our hands. If you have a baby using donated eggs, you presumably know one thing...It's mum was a generous, kind person, which is not a bad genetic link to pass down!

I would go for it, and not worry about it. The child/children will be loved and wanted. That's all any of us need smile.

amistillsexy Tue 30-Oct-12 16:30:16

When I say 'mostly all deda', I was meaning my grandparents, and other close family, not most of my parents blush.

amistillsexy Tue 30-Oct-12 16:30:55

dead, not deda.


HoneyDragon Tue 30-Oct-12 16:33:41

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

MummytoKatie Tue 30-Oct-12 20:54:43

I think when eggs are donated the important parts of the genetics are given. So you will be able to tell your child that the egg donor did not carry the breast cancer gene etc.

Ok you won't be able to discuss whether their red hair comes from Great Uncle Cyril but in my case my parents hated great uncle Cyril so even if it had they wouldn't have been keen to discuss it!

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