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debt and thoughts of suicide

(271 Posts)
joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 21:33:23

I am a single mum with a ten year old.i am drowning in debt and santander are taking me to court on the 5th november for repossession.the council and debts agencies are pushingme from pillar to post.my daughter goes away on sunday for 1 week.i feel quite calm now as im planning to take my life.i know she will be looked after.i dont even know why im here.im jyst desperate i suppose

lucyellenmum Thu 25-Oct-12 22:30:06

I'll come to court with you, where are you?

lucyellenmum Thu 25-Oct-12 22:31:05

I've done this, ive been to court with my DP when a company tried to get money from us that we coudnt afford, the judge found in our favour, im like a rotweiller with a bone i am!

JugglingWithPossibilities Thu 25-Oct-12 22:33:02

Maybe her Dad and others could play a bigger part in supporting your daughter and you and you'd still be around for her too ! Wouldn't that be so much better for everyone ? I think there are more options than you've explored yet and maybe we can help you begin to look at some of them ...

Defragged Thu 25-Oct-12 22:35:41

Sounds like you've been doing really well in working full time through all this - do you like your job? Are they being supportive?

joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 22:40:13

Ironically i work with very vulnerabke young people.its not well paid butit matters to me.i have 3 real goid friends i have written to and some great people at work.it jyst seens easier to tell you guys how im feeling

lucyellenmum Thu 25-Oct-12 22:47:05

its always easier with faceless strangers joee, we are here for you.

Your job matters to the people you work with as well, what will THEY do if you leave them? You make a difference to their lives, this is amazing. You sound like a very selfless person. I bet your DD is so so proud of you.

Tell me about your DD, whats her favourite thing to do?

kilmuir Thu 25-Oct-12 22:47:43

we are pleased you feel able to tell us. we all want to help

amillionyears Thu 25-Oct-12 22:47:52

If you do lose your house you have not failed your DD.
Have a liitle to eat and a cup of decaff for a little energy.
You need a little fighting spirit. We on MN can help you with that bit.

Defragged Thu 25-Oct-12 22:47:59

Well if posting on here is what's helping at the moment - go with it.

I know how hard it can be when you're the one normally being strong and giving out help and support and then find yourself needing it too - guess what. You're human too smile

And worthy of support.

But you'll also know from your work that talking is important. To people around you who can give you a big hug and be there for you.

Is there anyone you can think of you might be able to talk to - these feelings are very serious if you are making a plan for a time very soon.

kilmuir Thu 25-Oct-12 22:49:47

you must be quite a strong woman. being a single parent is hard work, you work full time , this debt is a pain in the arse, but you can get through it. people out there, and here, can advise you.

joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 22:58:07

At school the kids were asked to talk about who inspires them, n she says my mum! :-) and i do think alot of the young people i work with sometimes over years. So I do think of her and the others i would worry about leaving.my folks are in their 70 s and i have brother in Oz.i know they d be devastated.

joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 23:00:23

With this stuff with santander who ve been shits- i just cant seem ti see a way through.we ve lived here 10 years, all her life.and they want to evict us over £5k

amillionyears Thu 25-Oct-12 23:00:31

she sounds lovely.

amillionyears Thu 25-Oct-12 23:02:38

organisations can sometimes be faceless.
They can sometimes just deal with facts and figures.

CheeryCherry Thu 25-Oct-12 23:04:08

You are doing so well to hold down a job and all this stress, its admirable, it really is. There are some very caring MNetters on here for you, lots of us can help. Whereabouts in the country are you? So glad you have good friends....Just think how they would be desperate to help you, as you would if the tables were turned. Grab all the support you can, this is your time of need. And the help is there for you.

joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 23:05:07

She is and i amv proud of her heart and her humour.faceless doesnt begin to cover it.one woman told me i had 7 days to sell the house

amillionyears Thu 25-Oct-12 23:09:19

7 days to sell the house. Ludicrous.
That isnt the normal procedure surely.
Was the woman from santander?

MrsHoarder Thu 25-Oct-12 23:10:35

Look at it this way, if you have nothing else left to loose, why not ring your friends and tell them you need moral support at an eviction hearing. If any of my friends were facing that I'd go and stand by them even if I couldn't offer practical help. If youare near me I'd do it without knowing you.

You sound like a fab mum, building a life for your dd. Yes you're facingproblems now, but stay with her, sleep on the spa of whomever can offer the pair of you a bed and she'll probably remember it as an adventure.

Defragged Thu 25-Oct-12 23:12:26

Your daughter sounds amazing. You are the sort of person our society should be giving full support to. It stinks that someone like you is feeling this way, that there doesn't seem to be another way through.

But I'm really worried that actually you have so much going for you - your daughter, your work, friends and colleagues - but you also have this plan that's coming up soon, it's really putting at risk the part of you that wants to work, wants to find a way through and do the best thing for your daughter in a different way.

You say you have a plan - have you worked out how you will take your life?

Keep posting obviously if its helping, but do you think you could do anything tomorrow to find RL support?

lucyellenmum Thu 25-Oct-12 23:13:16

Have the bank helped you AT ALL? over this time? If they haven't done anything in the way of offering arrangements to pay off arrears that you can AFFORD, then they have not helped you sufficiently and this might buy you some time. Is there any equity in the house?

joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 23:16:34

Yeah that was santander :-( .i ve worn myself out now with howling! But i feel better for posting. Im at work tomorrow so some ' normality'. Huge thank you s to everyone who s responded. I will definitely come back for your support as I know the next week will be the worst.big thank yous xxx

amillionyears Thu 25-Oct-12 23:20:10


joee123 Thu 25-Oct-12 23:21:12

I even asked the council for mortgage rescue, but they said that was theur last resort! Xx

DIddled Thu 25-Oct-12 23:21:46

Hang on in there Joee your baby needs you and the money stuff is just money! You are brave and amazing and we are here for you xxx And sticky your post made me cry you are very lovely and kind xxx

Hugs to you Joee - it will all work out xxx

lucyellenmum Thu 25-Oct-12 23:25:39

Do come back whenever you feel the need, feel free to PM me, we will hold your hand through this. You are not alone. Remember that the samaritans are there too if you need to hear a voice.

Also, think about posting in legal matters as there may be people there who can help you with practical advice.

Could you find the strength maybe to phone "the national debt line" they were bar far, i found, the best in terms of advice. I found the CCCS a little bit too blunt about things. National debt line were brilliant.

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