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Do I support my friend, knowing her husband has been convicted for pedophile offences?

(13 Posts)
BrokenJustBroken Sat 29-Sep-12 22:41:17

I have known them for 20 odd years. He was involved in a high-profile case, sentenced to 7 years, the child was 15. I only found out today, I don't know what to do.

chocolatespiders Sat 29-Sep-12 22:43:24

I would support her, she may have no clue about it either. Has she discussed it with you at all?

NatashaBee Sat 29-Sep-12 22:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flojo1979 Sat 29-Sep-12 22:44:31

I'm lost, high profile case, yet u only found out today?

FannyFifer Sat 29-Sep-12 22:45:15

Would depend if she knew and if she was standing by him.
If neither of those I would be there to support her.

RikersBeard Sat 29-Sep-12 22:47:10

I think it would depend on her reaction to the terrible thing he has done. Her world is presumably destroyed so she needs some support. But if she was in any way excusing or defending him I couldn't support her

BrokenJustBroken Sat 29-Sep-12 22:49:17

I rarely read the papers local or national, but this evening I was browsing my local paper pages online and caught sight of his name, scrolled down and there was his photo. It was dated July 2012. I haven't seen my friend or been in touch since her birthday in April. My first impulse was to contact her for all the reasons above. I just needed some kind of consensus, so thank you all.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour Sat 29-Sep-12 22:52:48

I would contact her, but I'm afraid my support to her would depend on wether or not she was standing by him. I couldn't support or be friends with someone who condoned or forgave that kind of behaviour

Flojo1979 Sat 29-Sep-12 23:00:32

I agree. Contact her. But if she's standing by him, then I'd be telling her a few home truths.

Hulababy Sat 29-Sep-12 23:02:04

Contact her. That way you'll know her feelings on it. If she is supporting him then I would struggle to have anything to do with her thereafter.

BrokenJustBroken Sat 29-Sep-12 23:10:37

Thank you. I am going to contact her, then take it from there.

Tamisara Mon 01-Oct-12 16:33:24

I hope it goes well Broken.

It's possible that she hasn't been in contact, due to the court case, and maybe embarrassment.

I would feel humiliated, rejected, ashamed & duped if I were her. She needs you... she is probably scared that people will judge her, or expect her to have known - though how many women are blindsided by their partner's affairs?

I don't see why she would want to stand by him, unless she cannot allow herself to believe it, as it would be so devastating, and make her whole marriage a lie.

NervousAt20 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:36:02

I think she'll need as much support as she can as she can't be in a good place mentally/emotionally after finding out something like this and im sure alot of people will judge her and give her a hard time over it, unless as others have said that she's standing by him then cut ties

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