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What to do for a wedding gift (to a wedding we've been uninvited to)

(13 Posts)
mamij Sun 23-Sep-12 13:31:24

We have a friend (not a close friend, but someone we knew at uni), who will be getting married second time around. At first, we (me, DH and two DCs) were invited to the registery and wedding breakfast via a fb invite (I hate those, but is also another thread).

A couple of weeks ago, she decided it would be a baby free event because there isn't enough room at the venue to accommodate everyone they want to invite. Therefore, we won't be going as we can't leave DCs alone. We've since been taken off the fb event invite.

Now, what do we do about wedding gifts etc? Apart from fb invite, we didn't get 'proper' invites I know she's sending out. Gift, vouchers, card, nothing?

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Sun 23-Sep-12 13:36:28

Card. No need for gift if you're not going and it's not a close friend.

shrimponastick Sun 23-Sep-12 13:36:34

It would be a card only from me.

She isn't a close friend, and you have been dropped.

So, a card.

Tiago Sun 23-Sep-12 13:39:57

Card only.

Sparklingbrook Sun 23-Sep-12 13:40:44

A card. Possibly.

Somuchforhope Sun 23-Sep-12 13:40:59

A book on etiquette

Panzee Sun 23-Sep-12 13:42:28

A card if you're nice. Nothing if you're me grin

Sparklingbrook Sun 23-Sep-12 13:44:47

Yes, actually scrub the possibly. Nothing.

Tee2072 Sun 23-Sep-12 13:50:03

A card. Or nothing.

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sun 23-Sep-12 13:52:09

Nothing. You haven't been properly invited. You could send her a FB message wishing her all the best, since the only invite you got was a FB one.

THETrills Sun 23-Sep-12 13:52:29

Are you sure that you, DH, and two DCs were invited? What was the wording of the Facebook message?

I wouldn't say that you have been uninvited, it's possible that you and DH were invited and now you know the details you are unable to go.

Anyway, someone you are not close to + wedding you are not going to = card.

Coconutty Sun 23-Sep-12 13:52:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamij Sun 23-Sep-12 14:02:57

Thanks all for your advice! That's really helped me to decide what to do now!

Wording was something along the lines of:
Dear x
We would like to invite you (partners and children) to our wedding registry and wedding breakfast. Blah, blah, blah...

Please confirm names and numbers who will be coming as we need to let the restaurant know.

I actually confirmed with her at the time that we will all be going and she was smile that we could all attend.

A couple of mutual friend's were hmm, and have to decide whether or not they will be going also.

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