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Teacher sexually abused pupil nearly 30 years ago

(7 Posts)
ImInLoveWithAGermanPornStar Sun 23-Sep-12 07:13:56

Ive recently been in touch with an old school friend who shared, with myself and a couple of other friends, that she'd been quite seriously sexually abused by one of our teachers at boarding school in the early 80's. She was 14 or so. She's never told anyone until now.
There had always been rumours about this particular teacher, one being of another girl having been through the same scenario exactly as my friend. At the time, it somehow didn't seem too outrageous. I'm not sure why. I think maybe, at that age, you don't see yourselves as children or vulnerable. Anyway, after a quick Google, it seems that this teacher has been working in education/ youth projects all his working life. It looks as if he may have retired fairly recently. It makes me sick to think that, in all probability, this was not an isolated case.
My friend now lives overseas but wants to do something about the situation. She's not sure if she wants to just tell him how much he affected the rest of her life or to actually report him. I'd like to help her and my first instinct is to try to find other students who had the same experience but .... Is this fair on others? I don't care about him but is it better to let sleeping dogs lie in the case of his other (probable) victims, who may have put it to rest. I don't want to rush in, all guns blazing and re-ignite the horrible memory of that loathsome man.
What would you do?

SavoyCabbage Sun 23-Sep-12 07:28:26

I would report it officially. There was a case recently where a boy told his father he had been abused by his swimming teacher. That same swimming teacher had abused the father too.

My friend has recently reported the man who abused her as a chid to the police and he is dead. She has done it as her psychiatrist said it was important that she told someone who believed her.

ImInLoveWithAGermanPornStar Sun 23-Sep-12 07:32:43

Thanks for your reply, Savoy. Reporting it is my instinct too. Do you think that I should dig a little to see if I can find any of his other victims or leave that to the authorities? And how should we go about it? My friend is pretty much on the other side of the world.

ImInLoveWithAGermanPornStar Sun 23-Sep-12 07:34:05

Horrific stories. Hope your friend is finding some closure sad

SavoyCabbage Sun 23-Sep-12 07:39:05

I think that some other people may cone forward later but I wouldn't think about that now. The police will know how to handle that side of things.

There is a possibility that your friend can make a report where she lives I suppose.

mellen Sun 23-Sep-12 07:46:32

Your friend can make a report to the police. I wouldn't start digging around to find other potential victims. If your friend does report it then it is up to other people whether they come forward or not. I wouldn't hold back on reporting something like that in order to let 'sleeping dogs lie'.

ImInLoveWithAGermanPornStar Sun 23-Sep-12 07:52:43

You're both right. Thanks for the advice. I'll speak to her about it.

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