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Should i give my friend some money?

(17 Posts)
Yogagirl17 Sun 09-Sep-12 08:04:27

Money is really tight at the moment as I have no job and don't know how long it's going to take me to get one (been looking for ages). Good friend of mine had organised a night out last night to celebrate a big birthday for a mutual friend - drinks & nibbles at her house followed by a meal at a restaurant. I told her I would come to hers for drinks (and brought a bottle of wine so wasn't just scrounging for a freebie) but couldn't afford the meal out. I was fine with this & didn't make a big deal of it (no poor me, you all get to go etc..). At the last minute she texts me to say someone had pulled out of the meal, as they'd had to put down a deposit the meal would be wasted, I should come, it wouldn't cost me anything and no one else had to know. I told her I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing everyone else had paid but she said, "don't worry it's all sorted, you're coming." So I went along, we had a lovely night adn I didn't want to make her feel bad by insisting she take some money from me last night.

But today I still feel a bit bad about it. Even if there was a deposit paid in advance, I'm sure my friend still had to pay for my meal in the end. She is a very good, generous friend and she knows I would do the same for her if the situation were reversed. But I'd like to offer her something, even if I can't afford the full price of the meal. Will that just make her feel bad though? Should I just leave it and know that I will do something nice for her once my finances are sorted?

MrsPnut Sun 09-Sep-12 08:06:05

I would leave it and do something nice for her when you can. If you're the sort of friend that can always be relied upon for support and help when it's needed then I'm sure your friend was more than happy to help you out.

fivegomadindorset Sun 09-Sep-12 08:09:39

She paid for you because she wanted you there.

scandy Sun 09-Sep-12 08:14:46

With my friends we are always taking each other out to dinner, or grabbing the bill and saying 'let me get this one, you can get the next one', that sort of thing. It always evens out in the end. Or invite her over to yours for a nice dinner / brunch.

seeker Sun 09-Sep-12 08:17:35

What a lovely friend! Accept it gracefully- allow her the pleasure of doing something generous and kind. Just say thank you once and don't mention it again.

Newtothisstuff Sun 09-Sep-12 08:22:38

I'd just drop her a text saying thank you grin

TheMonster Sun 09-Sep-12 08:27:17

She wanted you there. Be pleased.

Yogagirl17 Sun 09-Sep-12 08:40:58

Ok, thx all smile

G1nger Mon 10-Sep-12 19:54:26

That's lovely of her. You owe her something for the future, not her. Tell her again what a lovely time you had and say thanks.

seeker Mon 10-Sep-12 22:08:30

Say thank you. Then do something nice for somebody else when you can. I believe in passing it on.

Yogagirl17 Mon 10-Sep-12 22:15:12

I like that too seeker x

TudorJess Sat 15-Sep-12 21:17:53

Send her a really nice thank you card smile

SagaciousOne Wed 26-Sep-12 16:48:04

Your friend wanted you to come. You didnt angle for the meal out but your presence made the evening more enjoyable for your friends. I would just accept this act of kindness graciously but not make a habit of it

Noqontrol Wed 26-Sep-12 16:59:06

She wanted to do it. She wouldn't have done it otherwise.

ThreeEdgedSword Fri 05-Oct-12 13:07:32

I love doing things like that for my friends, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling to treat them once in a while smile she wanted you to be there because she enjoys your company, so thank her and be happy you have such a good friend. I'm sure if the roles were reversed you'd have done the same, and that's what matters smile.

Pancakeflipper Fri 05-Oct-12 13:18:20

Honestly, stop worrying about it. She knew why you couldn't go - you were up front about it. And then she is left with a gap at the table paid for. Of course she took to opportunity to ask you to go.

As already said - good company is hard to buy. They wanted you there. Brill.

I have a lovely mate who is generous with money. I never seem to go halves with her. She is a pro at whipping the bill away .And it niggles me a little cos' I would hate her to think I was her mate for the coffee and pastries!

So I told her. And she laughed and said we were mates and I did stuff like walk her dog, get the kids from school, send books and jigsaws for her ill sister who lives with them. Her whipping the bill away is her way of saying "Thanks". So it's really swings and roundabouts...

Oldandcobwebby Sat 13-Oct-12 10:25:46

What a lovely friend you have! She knows your position, and is being supportive, which is what friends do. You will probably make her feel awkward if you try to pay. I would suggest a nice thank you note saying how much you enjoyed the evening, and that it lifted your spirits when your circumstances are difficult.

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