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WWYD if it was your friend

(44 Posts)
WWYDifitwasyourfriend Thu 13-Oct-11 10:25:15

Who had made no secret of the fact her and her flat mates smoke joints when there are 4 children in the home? one of them being a baby?

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Thu 13-Oct-11 10:26:48

I would say nothing to them and report it to SS.

WWYDifitwasyourfriend Thu 13-Oct-11 10:28:46

thats what I am edging on doing.


GalaxyWeaver Thu 13-Oct-11 10:29:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrskeithlemon Thu 13-Oct-11 10:31:00

while the children are there?

JeremyVile Thu 13-Oct-11 10:31:25

Not sure what I'd do other than think she was a selfish, weak loser.
Certainly woudnt be friends with someone like this, but I assume you knew the type of person she was anyway?

GreenBlueRed Thu 13-Oct-11 10:31:51

What GalaxyWeaver said.

aldiwhore Thu 13-Oct-11 10:32:25

I'd voice my disgust.

I actually have no issue with cannabis, or rather I have the same issues with cannabis as I do alcohol generally. However, smoking (anything) or getting shitfaced on anything where children are involved is a no-no. The smoke is my worry from a 'health of children' perspective, and the affects are a worry as they like you incapable for being 100% responsible (just like alcohol).

I wouldn't phone SS... but I'd have to voice my concerns. They're children are inhaling the fumes, they're not being responsible and they are at risk of getting into bother with the law. Triple stupidity.

If they were sharing one spliff OUTSIDE then I wouldn't worry as much to be honest, but inside, regularly and getting wasted. Uh-uh.

pinkdelight Thu 13-Oct-11 10:33:28

i would talk to her and have a possibly eggy conversation in which i said why i thought it was a bad idea, and if she argued that it wasn't i would think she was dumb and probably not be such good friends any more. but i wouldn't report her. and if she wasn't dumb, i'd hope my argument would sink in and she'd start to have second thoughts.

ScaredBear Thu 13-Oct-11 10:35:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyCash Thu 13-Oct-11 10:35:44

Are the kids asleep?

Bloodymary Thu 13-Oct-11 10:35:57

Exactly what GalaxyWeaver sais.

Bloodymary Thu 13-Oct-11 10:36:20


DodieSmith Thu 13-Oct-11 10:36:35

How well are the kids looked after generally? If the dope smoking isn't causing them to neglect the children I don't see the problem. If the dope smoking is just one factor in a generally positive environment then I'd mind my own business.

WilsonFrickett Thu 13-Oct-11 10:37:41

I think smoking anything in the same room as a child is a no-no. But having a joint when the children have gone to bed? A friend of mine used to do this and I didn't have a problem with it - it's no different IMO to having a couple of glasses of wine of an evening. Now, some posters will say you shouldn't drink either, but I don't believe that.

So really, it's a question of degree. If they are getting throughly stoned I would have huge concerns, in the same way I would if they were getting throughly drunk. Do you know how much they're taking? How would you feel about the same amount of alcohol?

JeremyVile Thu 13-Oct-11 10:40:50

I was assuming Op meant they were smoking round the kids. But actually its not clear.

I'd still be a bit sniffy about them getting stoned even if the kids are in bed though. But I'm equally sniffy about parents who get mildly (and not so mildly) sloshed on wine every evening..

TheQueenOfDeDead Thu 13-Oct-11 10:45:47

Smoking anything around children is pretty disgusting IMO, but a couple of joints outside after the DC's are in bed, well I can't get worked up about that in the slightest.

Meita Thu 13-Oct-11 10:52:27

My dad smoked at least one joint per day until I was 30. Mostly immediately as he got home from work. He had a stroke then and stopped smoking anything at all for a while.

It never made him less capable of looking after us children. (Yeah, perhaps I wouldn't have noticed when I was small, but I think I would have in my mid- to late teens.) He was never 'stoned' as in noticeably, however I did see him drunk every now and then when I was a teen - lots scarier.

Tbh I find people who drink half a bottle of wine every evening more irresponsible than people who regularly smoke a little pot. (disclaimer - I do neither) Because alcohol is more socially accepted, the risk of sliding towards addiction is larger.

In other words, just by the fact of them smoking joints and having children in the house, I would do nothing except perhaps talk to them about the effects of second and third hand smoke - but I'd do that if it were normal cigarettes, too.

JIRkids Thu 13-Oct-11 10:52:52

If the smoke is nowhere near the children I would think of it as no different to drinking alcohol which a lot of people do when their kids are in bed! Different of course if doing in breathing distance of children.

ionysis Thu 13-Oct-11 10:53:44

I would be more concerned that she is doing something ILLEGAL which could end up with her:
1. recieving a fine (would affect the children negatively),
2. criminal record (could stop her egtting jobs etc - would affect the kids),
3. if persistent offender or a buyer in bulk a custodial sentence (ditto but 100 fold)
4. if she drives a DUI conviction / ban (problems with transporting kids)
5. SS intervention if someone (not nec you) reports her

Why would you risk that all for the sake of a spliff?

ShriekingLisa Thu 13-Oct-11 11:12:24

Is this gospel? Has she 'told' you this herself and you've fabricated it or has she actually TOLD you?

I would talk to her, not shop her to SS

kelly2000 Thu 13-Oct-11 12:06:32

Contact ss. Even if the children are all in bed, having all the adults stoned is not going to be good if there is an emergency.
Also if they are smoking skunk, this is not such a chill out drug as traditional cannabis and has been known to cause serious mental health issues.

WilsonFrickett Thu 13-Oct-11 12:23:59

Seriously Kelly, what do you think SS would do? There are at least three parents in DS school on prescribed methadone, with SS support - I hardly think they'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed round their kids either. (Although I appreciate a methadone prescription isn't illegal.)

WWYDifitwasyourfriend Thu 13-Oct-11 12:44:18

She told me herself that twice a week she "buys a bag of green". Personally that to me is self explanatory. Sometimes the kids are in bed other times not.

I haven't reported her but was thinking about it. Her bf does most of the discipline etc.

WilsonFrickett Thu 13-Oct-11 13:41:03

Sorry OP, it's been a looooooong time - what does that mean? (Genuine question, in my day it was eigths and quarters)

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