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Keeping teenager off school

(8 Posts)
Oakmaiden Sun 25-Sep-11 12:03:34

I can't decide what to do.

The situation is this: My 13 year old son has Aspergers, ADHD and Tourettes and is bullied a lot at school. School seem to be unable to deal with it as it isn't a specific child or group of children doing the bullying - it seems to be most of the school having a pop at him as he walks past.... In fairness son is quite stoic about it generally - he knows I expect him to go to school and does so without too much protest.

However, on Friday he was fitted with a palate expander/brace, and he now has an awful lisp. Apparently this should settle in a few days - but hasn't yet. I KNOW he is going to kick up a big stink about it tomorrow when he is supposed to go to school. He has spent the weekend shut in his bedroom refusing to talk to anyone, or let anyone even look at him as he feels so self concious. I don't know what to do. Should I let him stay off school until the lisp subsides? But what if it doesn't? Or should I tell him school is where he needs to be and brook no disagreement?

My husband says I should "slap him and make him go" (but then he has no patience with or understanding of our son - but should at least know that aggression towards him will make him 100x worse - they way to go with ds is calm, quiet and unmoving....). I would feel terrible making him go, as he has been really distressed already about the brace, and really doesn't need something else for people to mock him about. I could CLAIM to be letting him stay home because he has a cold (he does, but I wouldn't normally let him stay off school for that)

On the other hand - I don't generally let him stay home from school for anything except major illness, and school is where he is supposed to be. Maybe making him jump back in the deep end will be the best way to help him get over it? And what if his lisp doesn't get better? I couldn't keep him off indefinitely....

WWYD?

AtYourCervix Sun 25-Sep-11 12:07:18

difficult one. DD (13, AS, school ishoos) has a brace the same but it has to be said her speach hasn't improved much beyond the first few days of talking like Louis Spence, so if you wait for his speach to return to normal he could miss rather a lot of school. However - knowing what it can be like trying to force a 13 year old with AS and school ishoos to actually go against their will it is hideously miserable and TBH I think i'd leave it for him to decide when he is ready.

I'd keep him off and see how the lisp goes. Could u give him some form of work to do at home for a day? Could hurtful comments trigger an outburst and get him in trouble if he reacts?

AtYourCervix Sun 25-Sep-11 12:08:38

D very quickly got used to her brace. had a couple of days when it hurt and she was very self conscious about her speach but it didn't last long at all and she's been very good about wearing it.

AtYourCervix Sun 25-Sep-11 12:10:18

speech. speach. ????? sorry can't spell.

Have just almost cried with laughter at your screen name grin it's brilliant!!

Oakmaiden Sun 25-Sep-11 17:16:33

Thanks. I just can't decide what would be best for him in the long run...

AspergerFiction Mon 26-Sep-11 18:24:57

I would go with your instincts - from your post it sounds like you are caring and sensible enough that you will make the right decision.

>My husband says I should "slap him and make him go"
I don't know if to be sad or angry at such an insensitive remark and attitude. Based on this remark - whatever decision you make DON'T consult your husband

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