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Would you sponsor this Woman if you were me?

(28 Posts)
ScarlettIsWalking Sat 10-Sep-11 18:02:44

I am a bit hmm that after briefly chatting to another Mum at a party a couple of weeks ago, which must have been the 3rd convo I had with her in 2 yrs, she has personally emailed me and asked me to sponsor her for a biking event.

Our children were at nursery, never played together but she was someone I said hello to at the gates. It's not even a general group mail but a personal one asking me to sponsor her. I have looked at the offering everyone has given and it's all £20 and I am totally skint at the new term forking out for activities again etc. It is v likely I will see her again at a party/ dance class or whatever.

thenightsky Sat 10-Sep-11 18:03:43

What is the biking event? What is the charity?

Cereal Sat 10-Sep-11 20:05:47

No, I wouldn't. I'd only sponsor someone I knew well, or donate privately to a charity of my choice. I would just ignore the email - she's probably sent hundreds.

LemonDifficult Sat 10-Sep-11 20:08:58

Well, first of all, there's no need for you to be a bit hmm - she's collecting for charity! (This is for charity, right? Not just for her?)

You can just ignore her request, lots of others will to, or if it's a charity you support then you can just give a couple of quid.

purplepidjin Sat 10-Sep-11 20:09:16

Ignore. That's what spam filters are for wink

mousesma Sat 10-Sep-11 20:10:07

I wouldn't sponsor her either. I don't blame her for trying though she'll have sent these emails to everyone she knows of the premise that the worst they can do is say no.

Columbia999 Sat 10-Sep-11 20:11:14

It might be a group email and she could have sent everyone a BCC.

ScarlettIsWalking Sat 10-Sep-11 20:25:39

It was addressed to me and she mentioned my DD so unlikely to be a group BCC. It was really super friendly and v blatant about the sponsoring and I was hmm I don't really know her that well and if I respond and choose to ignore the request it will look really odd. But I suppose that was part of the plan... I suppose I could ignore but it will be a leetle bit awkward if i see her again.

For the record I wouldn't have felt this way if it wasn't so personalised to me. I don't blame her in any way but it's certainly not how I would go about it.

curlytoes Sat 10-Sep-11 20:26:48

I think this woman's being a bit over zealous with her fundraising. Maybe she feels strongly about the cause and is chancing he arm asking anyone and everyone to raise as much as she can. No need to feel bad about not sponsoring her though. It's your choice which charities to support and when. No-one can afford to give to every charity all the time.

curlytoes Sat 10-Sep-11 20:30:09

Would it help to send her a friendly e-mail saying that you've committed to supporting different charities and can't afford to sponsor her this time but wish her all the v best luck with her bike event and with her fundraising.

thenightsky Sat 10-Sep-11 20:31:55

Tell her you will donate a fiver (or whatever) directly the charity. I hate these things that appear to be people wanting sponsoring to do fancy holidays.

LemonDifficult Sat 10-Sep-11 20:35:26

I think you are over-thinking this. She's obviously quite good at fundraising as she knows to be personal about it, and she doesn't think you'd be offended. If she'd sent it to me I wouldn't have done. She's probably assuming you'll either say:

a) Great, count me in for a tenner - and good luck!
b) 2011 is my year of one charity only resolution and I supporting X charity, but I wish you all the best of luck!
c) Wow, good luck with that. I'm saving for stuff at the moment and had sworn off any extra spends at all, but I'm v impressed so might break my own resolution a teeny bit - can you put me down for a meagre two quid?

SandStorm Sat 10-Sep-11 20:36:33

For me it would depend very much on which charity she is raising funds for. If it was one that was close to my heart I would sponsor her but if it was one I disagreed with or was a bit hmm about I would just ignore it.

Beware though if you do sponsor her as it may open the floodgates - she may see you as either a safe bet or a soft touch.

ScarlettIsWalking Sat 10-Sep-11 22:31:36

Thanks for all your advice that helps smile

Cereal Sat 10-Sep-11 22:33:08

It's possible to do a "mail merge" where you send the same email to everyone and have a list of names or blanks to fill in.

"For the record I wouldn't have felt this way if it wasn't so personalised to me."

TrillianAstra Sat 10-Sep-11 22:42:31

I agree with Lemon.

People who are asking for money are presumably thick-skinned enough to cope with someone saying "no". It's not a personal insult, you just don't have the money to spare, and if you did this isn't the charity you would have chosen.

ScarlettIsWalking Sun 11-Sep-11 08:10:18

I don't think she would mention info about my DD and personal info in a mail merge. The thing is I can't even see what charity is is through the link she gave me. But I will say no politely.

onadifferentplanettoday Sun 11-Sep-11 08:24:03

My daughter is doing the Three Peaks Challenge in a couple of weeks,a huge challenge for her as she is diabetic. She has self financed this and every penny she raises will go to her chosen charities. With a couple of weeks to go and still a little way to go to her target I spent most of yesterday sending emails to everyone I could think of who might be willing to sponser her a pound or two, some of whom I havn't seen or spoken to in months. I don't expect to hear back from all of them and some that I have heard from I didn't expect to hear from IYSWIM but you never really know who has what charities close to their heart and might be willing to donate. I will not be in any way offended by anyone who doesn't reply I am simply casting the net as far as I possibly can.

Cereal Sun 11-Sep-11 10:29:20

Not a mail merge then, but changing a bit of personal information in each email. Still a bit strange if she doesn't really know you though.

glasscompletelybroken Sun 11-Sep-11 12:55:07

TrillianAstra - "People who are asking for money are presumably thick-skinned enough to cope with someone saying "no"." !!!
Are you suggesting that people who get off their backsides, train for months and take part in events to raise money for charity are THICK-SKINNED???!!!

I did a charity cycle event in June. I started training for it last November. I devoted 6 months of my (busy) life to preparing for it and to make that worthwhile I asked every single person I could think of to sponsor me. I knew that not everyone would be able to and I wanted to raise as much money as possible for the MS Society. That'a why I did it - not to win any friends or create a good impression.

If 20 people who could give a fiver were put off giving anything because some other people had given £20 then the charity loses £100!

It's up to you to decide if you want or can afford to sponsor her but please don't suggest that she has behaved in any way inapproriately. How do you think these charities would get their money if it wasn't for people like her?

mousesma Sun 11-Sep-11 14:27:27

Why is it inappropriate to say someone is thick-skinned? There are alot of situations where you need to be thick-skinned and in a fund raising capacity it's a positive attribute. You're not going to get very far in that situation if you're easily offended by people saying no.

glasscompletelybroken Mon 12-Sep-11 08:42:26

Why is it apropriate though? I'm not at all thick-skinned and for me it's the hardest thing about doing a sponsored event. All I'm saying is - this woman is doing a good thing. Either sponsor her or don't, but don't start a debate about it or get the hump because she's asked in a friendly way!

AMumInScotland Mon 12-Sep-11 08:48:32

I'd just reply politely saying I'm not in a position to sponsor you at the moment but good luck with the event. I think that's more polite than just not replying, when she has gone to the trouble of personalising the email rather than just sending a block one out.

No need to feel uncomfortable about it - I'm sure she has no problem understanding that money is tight for many people at the moment.

TrillianAstra Mon 12-Sep-11 08:49:43

By thick-skinned I meant not likely to get personally offended or upset if you say "no". If you go around asking for money you accept that some people will say no and it's not a personal slight.

Those of you getting offended by the phrase "thick-skinned" clearly think it means something different to what I think it means.

nokissymum Mon 12-Sep-11 08:51:25

glasscompletely it doesnt sound like you understand what the term "thick skinned" means from your responses. Like mouse said if you are in the business of fundraising this is a quality you will have to develop, its means "resilient", you can take knock backs and dont give up too easily, in the world of fundraising which i am just stepping into, it will be the key to success! So if this woman is as described, then kudos to her smile

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