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BF on gay website but claims it's the past...

(7 Posts)
W6mum Wed 17-Aug-11 13:38:35

we're new together, and given my position of single mum with small child need to be careful and wary. I found out about this because I had thought he was still in contact with his ex so went snooping (yes I know, invasive etc). On one hand contact with her has ceased, on the other I discover he has an active profile on Gaydar, the gay pick up site advertising his desire for 'always up for horny f**k buddies'. He claims it is from the past but having set up my Gaydar honeytrap profile (yes I've got trust issues) can see he logged in on sunday night - ie. the minute he is apart from me. He claims he received notification of a message so was 'just curious'. Suffice to say this is eating me up - that the person I am falling for has this really quite seedy not so past past. I just want to run a mile. Maybe he's just window shopping? But what if he is seeking solace in whoever the hell he can the minute he's alone? help!

W6mum Wed 17-Aug-11 13:41:35

I'd love to hear from anyone who uses Gaydar - is it more benign than it tends to be portrayed? does it send notifications of messages?

belledechocchipcookie Wed 17-Aug-11 13:43:18

Run dear, run as fast as you can.

icantstopeating Wed 17-Aug-11 22:31:33

Hi, I've namechanged to respond to this. My ex was on lots of gay websites, he had his own personal ad and was arranging to meet men. I had other proof too and choose to ignore it and believe what he was saying to me to excuse this. Personally I would say don't even go there. He might well be curious but believe me, if you already have trust issues, don't go there. It will eat you up and it's likely he's probably gay. I could of course be wrong, but I just wouldn't put yourself in a position to wait and find out.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Aug-11 22:33:27

what would I do ?

Dump him, of course

akaemmafrost Thu 18-Aug-11 08:44:55

Oh Dear, dump him at once, this very second.

WhoWhoWhoWho Thu 18-Aug-11 08:50:36

Dump him.

I sayed with someone like this for 9 years. 9 years that I'll never get back.

You will always have this doubt in the back of your mind, and I shall also point out, if he is attracted to men whether he is gay or bi that is not something that you can put in a box labelled past, the atraction is always there.

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