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Trying to make a friend

(6 Posts)
mumincov Sat 23-Jul-11 01:04:29

OK so this is probably pretty banal, but views would be appreciated (and sorry it's so long)

I don't really have close female friends. I mainly had male friends in my late teens and 20s, including some very close platonic male friends. I'm a bit of a geek to be honest and hadn't felt I had much in common with other women until I got to my 30s.

Anyway, I've recently left a job. In the first week of that job, many moons ago, I met a manager for another team and liked her instantly, which was a bit of a surprise. Anyway, she was quite quiet and we were geographically separated so I didn't take the opportunity then to make friends with her, though I think we both clicked. Then she wound up being my boss for 3 years or so and I really enjoyed working with her, but she was my boss so buddies were off limits and to be honest, I'd got such a friendly crush on her by then that I felt a bit awkward wanting to be friends.

Anyway, I've moved on to another employer, and was going to work myself up to asking her if she wanted to keep in touch, but she suggested meeting up when she was working in my area, which was brilliant. But, everyone else I've tried to meet up with from the old job has blown me out so far (even where they'd suggested meeting up), which is a pain, and I'd really love to actually make friends with this lady. She is quite reserved and lives quite a distance from me, so I can't just invent excuses to drop in.

I really am desperate to keep in touch with her. The problem is I don't know how. She's that busy that she doesn't really keep up with email or voicemails/texts. How do I find an excuse to get to know her better? I'm a bit scared that if I push then she'll think I'm some wierdo stalker or something lol!

Gah, blokes are so easy to get to know...

flangeismyfaveword Sat 23-Jul-11 01:14:54

If she suggested meeting up first (if I have read correctly) then I really dont see whats stopping you from asking her now.Just text her .. "next time you are in my area , give me a bell, would love a catch up"
I dont know anyone that is so busy that they would not see/acknowledge a text

pseudonomic Sat 23-Jul-11 01:20:15

I would send her an email to say 'I know we've not managed to get together. Shall we put a date in the diary now to have lunch so we make sure it'll happen, I'd love to catch up with you'.

Honestly, people love knowing they are appreciated and wanted but someone has to extend the hand of friendship first. smile

mumincov Sat 23-Jul-11 01:25:41

We'll I know when she'll be around next and it's a couple of weeks away, so I'm probably just jumping the gun, but I'm a dreadful fuss pot, to be honest. And yes she suggested meeting up first smile smile

She has never done texts - she only got a phone cause work made her have one. She'll answer email but not consistently, but I do know how busy she always was. I think my problem is that I care out this a bit too much. I've not had a close female friend since school, to be honest, and that's made me quite nervous about the whole idea.

mumincov Sat 23-Jul-11 01:26:57

thanks pseudonomic, I'll do that

flangeismyfaveword Sat 23-Jul-11 01:31:03

Well if text wont work and you know she around in a couple of weeks then I think you should just bite the bullet and CALL her. What is the worst that can happen?

Honestly luv if you not feeling confident then the best thing is to just pretend u are x x

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