should I just call this friendship a day?(4 Posts)
I have this friend. She sometimes makes bad decisions. She a lovely lady, she's a single mother to 2 boys.
The eldest is 15 and the youngest is 3 . We (I thought) were very good friends, she has other friends who she talks to and i'm nothing but completely open and honest with her even if she or I doesn't agree with it.
Her eldest has been given her grief for a while now about 15 months, he's been arrested for assaulting her and other people, he's been kicked out of school but all in al I'veknown him for a few years, he's a good boy, he's just fallen in with the wrong crowd.
She has no-one in the way of family around her, so she only has friends to talk to and confide in.
She was round mine weekly always on a saturday and sometimes on a sunday too for about 2 years.
She met a man she jumped into into bed and feelings far too quickly as far as i was concerned and she was dumped. She thought she was pregnant, now this isnt a new situation she's been in, she has already had a realtionship, albeit a short one, with both of her childrens dads.
She thought she was pregnant and to be honest I didnt react too well.
I told her I didnt think she should have an abortion, she should have been more careful, she rushed into it etc.
I admit I acted hastily and apologised afterward, I told her i'm her friend and I will support her I dont believe I was very tactful and understanding to her circumstances and after I saw her I felt it was a bit frosty.
Since then she has put me off going round there and I have put her off coming here (unrelated, it's a personal decision as we are going through it atm and would rather go to her house )
I asked to go visit her tonight and again was put off. I feel like this friendship has reached a stalemate.
Should I just turn up with wine at the weekend, or should I just admit that the friendship is over??
I think you need to ask yourself if you want her in your life. If the answer is yes then definitely go round there with a bottle of wine. It is natural to want to give advice but maybe she saw it as you being judgmental.
It sounds to me that she knows she has been foolish but just needs you to lean on.
If it was me I would ask myself if I wanted/needed her in my life and go from there. You sound like a nice friend tbh and maybe she feels ashamed of her behaviour.
I do like her in my life. I love her children like they are family.
I do think however I was judgemental. She knows I disagree with abortion and in hindsight I should have bit my tongue and swallowed it
She knows she has been foolish, I've told her and she knows it, I think she does feel embarrased by her behaviour as I do too.
I think I will take wine and flowers and maybe some chocs
Like I said she is a lovey woman just naive and silly sometimes
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