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About other family members kissing my children on the lips?

(19 Posts)
TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 01-Jul-11 21:38:08

My BIL and SIL enocurage their toddler to kiss other family members on the lips. My BIL has done it to my children and I really don't like it as I don't think that it is very hygienic. My son is nearly 3yrs old and my daughter is 5mths and the other day their toddler came over to kiss my daughter on the lips (sweet I know) so I intervened and said 'not on the lips, on the cheek' and she said 'he likes giving kisses' a bit huffy and took her son and walked off. It makes me feel like I am being totally neurotic!

The whole family do this and I really don't like it especially as they always seem to have colds and tummy bugs (not suprising really) and I've just found out that their son has chicken pox which is exactly why I don't like this whole kissing on the lips and its really beginning to piss me off but I don't know how to broach the subject with them without causing major offence! We are going away next week and if my children come down with chicken pox whilst were away I'm going to be so annoyed.

I only kiss my own children on the lips but they came through my vagina so I think we're all used to each others germs by now- I just don't want anyone else doing it! Help!

TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 01-Jul-11 21:54:53

Am I just being neurotic then?

IFishWife Fri 01-Jul-11 21:56:41

Yes, I think you are being neurotic. smile

Tuppenyrice Fri 01-Jul-11 21:57:42

You could turn it on its head and say:
"oh I wouldn't kiss DD she has a nasty cold/tummy bug/the plague."

Icoulddoitbetter Fri 01-Jul-11 21:58:03

I think you might be yes.....! They're all very small and it's a nice thing for them to do. My DS has just started kissing and I think it's sooooo cute. There are people I wouldn't let him near though, TBH grin

MavisCruetTheFairy Fri 01-Jul-11 21:59:46

Um... yes, sorry, I think you are being neurotic. I don't think kissing your daughter on the lips increases her chances of catching chicken pox over kissing her on the cheek anyway, and you seem over-neurotic about a 3yo kissing a baby. Within a few months she's likely to be eating grass, dirt and interesting pieces of fluff anyway.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty Fri 01-Jul-11 22:00:16

Yes, a bit neurotic I'm afraid. I always kissed family members on the lips, and I didn't die of the plague!

Tigerbomb Fri 01-Jul-11 22:01:19

I upset my exmil by asking her not to kiss my DC on the lips - but then she did have a huge coldsore on her lip.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 01-Jul-11 22:03:59

We just don't kiss each other on the lips in my side of the family- Partners aside that is, so it's doubly eugh for me! I don't like it and I'm not going to warm to it so neurosis or not I just need a way to stop them from doing it, for good. Telling them DS/DD has a nasty infection will only work temporarily I'm afraid. They are serial lip-kissers.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 01-Jul-11 22:05:17

Tigerbomb- what is it with some people? God! I would never even dream of kissing another person on the lips if I had a coldsore! Good for you for speaking out!

FunnysInTheGarden Fri 01-Jul-11 22:07:37

stop being so uptight. They are your family. FFS

TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 01-Jul-11 22:19:13

Yes they are family but that doesn't mean it's ok for a toddler to kiss a young baby on the lips! Toddlers are always coming down with something or other and I would like to protect my daughter for as long as possible. What makes it more difficult is my nephew (bless is heart) seems to catch every bug going and barely a fortnight goes by without him having a tummy bug. You cannot blame me for being 'uptight' about wanting to prevent my children from getting ill!

FunnysInTheGarden Fri 01-Jul-11 22:26:55

yes you can. The sooner your DC gets whatever is going round the better. It builds their immunity. You really need to loosen up.

Or is this OP about more than just your children getting normal day to day bugs? Do you dislike your IL's?

IFishWife Fri 01-Jul-11 22:33:43

I don't think this is about bugs. I think this is about other "ick" ishoos.

trixymalixy Fri 01-Jul-11 22:38:49


harecare Fri 01-Jul-11 22:50:27

You're so unreasonable! Did you know some germs are airborne? Many others can be passed on through touching something someone else has touched. Kissing family on the lips is quite normal in many families. Would you really want to stop toddlers from kissing one another? How peculiar. What about your DCs kissing their paternal GPs?

Don't get me wrong, my family isn't especially touchy feely, but I still kiss my Mum on the lips. I do not however kiss my MIL on the lips or any of DPs family - they used to kiss me on the lips and I hated it. I would never stop my kids kissing them on the lips though.

PippiLongBottom Fri 01-Jul-11 22:57:14

With a coldsore of course no kissing. As part of normal family life, fine.

Neurotic. and weird

usualsuspect Fri 01-Jul-11 22:58:38

Neurotic people really think like this?

realhousewifeofdevoncounty Fri 01-Jul-11 23:09:18

TBH I think if you make a big fuss over not kissing on the lips you are making a big deal of it and making it some weird taboo, when they are just children being affectionate and cute! And as for the infection risk, I'm sure it is no riskier than holding hand/kissing on the cheek/breathing on one another/touching heads and risking headlice transmission etc.

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