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Friend arrested for child sex offences

(5 Posts)
pearlearring Sat 28-May-11 11:03:47

I have a good friend who has been arrested for child sex offences. He is a minister. These are old offences, going back 30 years or so, against one man. He has been bailed. He says they are untrue.

What do I do? He's gone into hiding as far as I can tell. Do I send him a note? What do I say? I don't know what to do or think.

Advice welcome.

sickaboutdad Sat 28-May-11 11:39:01

This sounds so similar to things I am going through right now.
My father (a church man, all very complex) is under investigation due to an offence that happened 42 years ago. I pulled my original thread due to as things progressed over the course of last weekend when all this started to come out my Father and the places concerned became far to identifiable however I have a new thread that has a great deal on it about what's happening here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1221207-Father-admits-sexual-abuse-in-past-new-thread

If you have any questions or want to know more about my situation to help you with my own please send me a private message where I can give more detail about my Fathers position within the church and the ramifications of this.
It is such a very hard situation to be in. My case is a little different as my Father has no option but to admit the original offence as he was caught red handed at the time but it was all successfully swept under the carpet by the church however times have changed, he is currently on bail and there are huge questions involving things in my childhood and current situations. As I say, PM me.

prue0805 Sat 28-May-11 11:45:10

I had a paed riend too. He had never done anything to a child but had looked at pictures (wrong wrong)and acknowledged his attraction to young boys but he knew that to act on it would be utterly wrong. He is a lovely man, with a prediliction that makes him very very unhappy. It is not hard to like the likeable bits condemn utterly the rest. Supporting him or not depends on how much you care about him deep down.

pearlearring Sat 28-May-11 12:30:29

thanks sad, I have messaged you

He doesn't have a family, so is not the same chap (I wondered!)

I think it's hard because he is denying it - but of course no one is going to know excecpt for the two people involved

VivaLeBeaver Sat 28-May-11 12:41:22

This happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. He was accused of abusing a boy from over 20 years ago when he was only 18 himself and the other boy was 14.

My friend denyed it and I made the decision that he'd never lied to me in the past so I was going to believe him. Though I was aware I only ever heard his side of the story. I listened a lot as he needed to talk as was very stressed. It went to court and he was found not guilty. If he'd been found guilty I would have believed the verdict and cut all ties.

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