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Should I go?

(3 Posts)
MeowyChristmasEveryone Tue 28-Dec-10 21:29:55

Tomorrow lunchtime is the funeral of the wife of my husband's work colleague. She was 35 years old (same as me), and was given the all clear 3 years ago after having a malignant melanoma removed 5 years before that. In the summer, she was told that she had multiple tumours throughout her body, and the diagnosis was terminal. She was given palliative care and was attended by MacMillan nurses until she passed away the day before Christmas Eve.

My problem is with her husband. Until about 12 months ago, he was having an affair with the cleaner at his and my husband's place of work, and it had been going on for at least a year; they would sneak off to buildings that didn't get much "traffic" to have sex. My DH was unfortunate to find the "tissue leftovers" from one of their meetings when he had to go to the building that they met in most often.

My husband tried to advise him - he was being unfair on his wife and 2 daughters, unfair on the OW (who knew about his family), and unfair on all the people, like my DH, who knew about the affair and knew his wife even though DH didn't see her that often (work do's @ Christmas, etc). My DH's advice was rejected and the affair reached it's natural end, as I say, about a year ago.

I feel that I cannot go to this woman's funeral without wanting to bite her husband's face off!! I haven't said anything to my DH, and he thinks I am merely reticent about going to the funeral because the last three I've been to were my mum's dad's, my mum's mum's and my mum's in that reverse order. After my husband, the 3 most important people in my life.

What would you do?

blinks Tue 28-Dec-10 21:32:21

i would go and keep communicatons with husband to an absolute minimum.

MeowyChristmasEveryone Tue 28-Dec-10 21:56:12

Thanks blinks

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