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Screaming child next door......

(96 Posts)
allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:18:47

I'm not sure what to do, have just had previous horrible neighbours move out. These neighbours seem lovely, although have only spoken on a few occasions... they have a one year old (not sure exactly how old) and every night about 7.30pm this child screams, I mean really screams.......it's very upsetting. Doesn't seem to upset my kids too much as it usually seems to start around the time I put them to bed. It usually lasts about 30mins or more sometimes. I can only imagine it is controlled crying. On the one occassion I have spoken to the mother she said it was "teething" and "sorry" about the crying. It has been going on for a few months. Am at the point of getting advice, but not sure what or where to get advice from. I live in a small town, so not easy, but this child just sounds so distressed, I don't know how any mother can hear their child scream like this.....any advice/experience in this greatfully received!!!

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:20:16

I sound a bit wet in that post but am willing to intervene if necessary, just not sure whether to ring social services, NSPCC or local HV.....

c0rns1lk Tue 30-Nov-10 20:20:47

I would do nothing

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:21:58

some horrid people do this to their children

<hugs> to you

belgo Tue 30-Nov-10 20:22:33

Some children scream, and they hit the terrible twos from the age of one. My dd1 was like this, a huge screamer. Thankfully I had understanding neighbours and good insulation.

I don't think there is any evidence for the NSPCC to go on. Some children just cry.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:24:37

really, some children just cry?

I must have been lucky with my three and all the babies of poeple who are my friends

they only cried when they needed something...

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:24:42

DO nothing? Really? Is it ok NOT to get involved? Is this just controlled crying....??? I mean, what if it IS abuse of some kind.....I mean I dread to think, but there is always a shread of doubt....would people really make it OBVIOUS if they were hurting their child??

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:26:11

'just' controlled crying...

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:26:31

I mean, it's not just crying as in "i'm fed up and don't want to go to sleep" crying.....it's not teething...too old and too consistent...it is blood curdling....like either "don't leave me in a dark room to go to sleep" (shudder) or something else (vomit)

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:27:04

I am completely controlled crying btw

belgo Tue 30-Nov-10 20:27:34

Where is the evidence that the child is being left to cry? You can hear the child crying but that is not to say that the child is shut in a room left alone. My children certainly weren't alone and dd1 still cried.

c0rns1lk Tue 30-Nov-10 20:27:45

If it's 30 mins at the same time every night I would think that the child may have sleeping problems/is maybe overtired/perhaps hates being bathed but wouldn't think of anything more serious than that tbh. Is the child nearer to one or two?

smellyfeet Tue 30-Nov-10 20:29:37

how is the child otherwise when you see him/her?

StayFrosty Tue 30-Nov-10 20:30:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lal123 Tue 30-Nov-10 20:30:41

If it's hard for you to listen to just think how much harder it is for the poor parents.

What do you think they would be doing to her to make her cry? You might disagree with controlled crying - but its not abuse in the eyes of the law - and it does work for some children

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:30:57

wihtout medical reason like reflux why would a child cry

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Tue 30-Nov-10 20:31:31

if it's only once a day at the same time I would be inclined to think it's not abuse.

It could be controled crying (though if it's that you'll hear the crying subside as they go back to the child)

It could be CIO (horrid imo -but not somehting i think SS would take too seriously if it's the only issue)

It could be the child is screaming because they're a screamer.

and yes - some children do scream, and yes there's usually a reason. However, DS3 used to scream at bedtime because he WANTED to stay up... that wasn't an option as he was always a much happier boy after he'd had a nights sleep.

DS1 screamed for the first 6 months of his life - sod all wrong with him - he just screamed.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:31:52

'not abuse in the eyes of the law' and that makes it ok?

KittyFloss Tue 30-Nov-10 20:33:53

My ds who is 1 has taken against baths, he screams like he's being tortured. He also cries when getting dressed. Children cry, big deal.

Also I don't get your <shudder> at being left in a dark room to sleep hmm. Where else would you leave them to sleep?

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:34:30

belgo~ I can only assume it is being left to cry as it sounds so desperate and I can't hear talking (you can hear the adults talking if they do go into the room) I can also hear a door being shut, my children also cried when overtired, but would NEVER scream desperately if they could see me. In fact I can never remember a time I have heard my children cry in this way (or any other child I have been with for that matter) even when in pain.
cOrns~ I am assuming it's controlled crying as I don't hear it at any other time and spend a fair amount of time putting my kids to bed with stories and stuff, so have noticed it is usually around 7.30, but I have heard at other times. I think the child is probably around 18 months at most....
Would a child really scream like this with controlled crying?

belgo Tue 30-Nov-10 20:35:26

Maybe it's a sweeping statement but I would be more concerned about children who never cry, who have learnt that it's not worth the effort, who simply don't have the energy to cry because they know it will not get them the attention they need.

SylvanianFamily Tue 30-Nov-10 20:35:43

why would a baby cry? Because it's a hard fucking world, and some humans - even baby humans - are attuned to that more than others.

actually my niece screamed and screamed. I think she was dairy intolerant in retrospect, but at the time my SIL was taking her back and forth to the doctors to be fobbed off with platitudes like 'growing pains'.

allouttalove Tue 30-Nov-10 20:36:34

sorry missed a few posts.....getting into the whole controlled crying debate here, which is not really my point.

FanjolinaJolie Tue 30-Nov-10 20:37:49

Probably crying from being overtired.

belgo Tue 30-Nov-10 20:38:14

Op you are making a lot of assumptions and I really don't think there is much for the NSPCC to go on.

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